Poem - 20 February 2017, 08:12

River of sticky lies

amanda puggle

Feeling like a slut when I look into your eyes

I swim threw thought a river of sticky lies

Floughting down on an inner tube of memories that are sinking

Clutch my nuckels white to theuver truth that is shrinking

Furious waves of reality crush the mirage

The shattered shards of hope and broken heart make a coulauge

Dig my fingertips into your consciousness

So I can see what you see

Sit inside a memory warp into a fallacy

Cause you believe what you believe

Run threw your dreams again were I can be what you want me to be

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1844

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Poetry Genre:

Romance

Topic:

Love

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5 comments

Comments

Tony Taylor20 February 2017, 09:48

Hey PLATYPUS!!..... first: I LOVE the title..... caught my eye instantly...... and the name PLATYPUS is awesome!!...... the intent here is well conveyed and the sense of timing is strong......I don't know if you were messing around by misspelling some of the words on purpose or not.,,... but it doesn't really matter because the phrasing carries you through VERY well.....":... on an inner tube of memories..".....VERY clever!!......ALL STARS!!.... well done.... and...... WELCOME to COSMO!!....... LOVE and ROCKETS!!........T xo. ?✳✴☀

amanda puggle22 February 2017, 16:05

Thank you! I am glad my horrible spelling skills didnt weaken its meaning. I definitely need to use spell check before posting

Richard Waters20 February 2017, 14:08

A consistently dramatic undercurrent moves this piece along in a visceral fashion.

Emotive approach brings its rewards.

Wishing you the very best. :)

amanda puggle21 February 2017, 02:53

Thank you so much for introducing me to to the word 'visceral' it is a grand extension to my vocabulary! I am surprised the all encompassing ignorance is had. How cleverly it was contained in a multi directional statement. I am very infatuation with lexilexicon and have spent days of my life with my nose in a dictionary flipping threw synonyms swimming threw definitions just captivated by the english language. How a word like 'visceral' could be completly foreign to my vocabulary until now is beyond me! I appreciate your use of vocabulary thanks for broadening mine!

Richard Waters21 February 2017, 02:57

:) A broad vocabulary really helps in this craft !!

Thank you for sharing your poetry !

Wishing you the very best ! :)