The Search

I walked this Earth with sorrow in my soul.
Little by little, I was weighed down by the guilt on my shoulders.
Inside I held a beast made of darkness the burned like coal.
The little girl in me kept praying someone would save her.

The woman, on the other hand, searched for a partner
thinking that's what I needed,
but not a single man I met could quench my heart's hunger
I almost gave into the loneliness, let my spirit be defeated.

Instead I turned to a friend
looking for comfort,
but that too came to an end.
My downfall wasn't something I could avert.

I ran to the religion that was imposed on me as a child.
Down on my knees, I screamed, cried, and pleaded.
My faith had long been defiled,
perhaps that is why not a single prayer was heeded.

Condemned for my sins,
I was crushed by the world.
I sat in a prison of my making and thought of who I could have been
had reality been different, had it not been so cruel.