SELF MYSTERY

If you're a chosen one...

Tests are hard...

​​THERE ARE BOOKS AVAILABLE FOR YOUR COURSE...

Some call it Path...

Tests can be frequent...

I am an unalived...

This is one incident in 1989...

​​​​​​I have been and am separated from family/friends...

I have been through many attacks, by people, dog, fire...
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One occasion I made a decision with 2 friends...

Not a good decision...

Going fishing in January in a canoe on a very large lake in Massachusetts...

Not all that far from Canada...

I got hypothermia and made it on the front page of a newspaper...

They called me a guy...

I didn't even know there were more people than the 2 men who appeared and should have been inside with their families drinking hot cocoa and telling stories...
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I didn't know there more people than the ambulance driver who said there was no ambulance for me because it only held my 2 friends...

I didn't know there were more than the officers on scene who couldn't strip me down because, there wasn't a female officer for me...

One of the officers determined I was in really bad shape and he put me in the front seat of his police car...

He cranked the heat and he began to sweat...

I couldn't stop shivering and shaking...

I told him to take his jacket off...

I said you don't need to pass out from being over heated if you're not wanting to stay in the hospital with me...

He took his jacket off and I couldn't accept is offer of putting it on me...

When I told him why and I mentioned honor, tests, I was not worthy and I didn't want to get it dirty...

He looked at me and tried to rebuttal so I would accept...

I won...

He placed it on the back seat...

I don't remember if I heard any sirens...

I remember moments but, there are things I can't remember at all...

I thought flipping over the handle bars on my bicycle when I was 10 years old peddling a long just fine on my way to visit my Grandmother in the next town was my fourth and final unalive thing...

I went to the Church for awhile that you have to go by to go to Grandma's...

I hadn't been in awhile and I didn't want to chance running into a Priest accident or not...

I rode on the other side of the street usually...

Sometimes, I rode on the Church side...

 Those days were ok if I ran into a Priest accident or not...

This one day I started on the other side then I crossed the street just before the Church and I was riding on the sidewalk... 

Peddling at a steady pace, not too fast not too slow...

My bike stopped and I know I didn't break which were on my peddles...

I looked for a Pebble, a rock, a quarter...

There was nothing on the sidewalk...

Nothing by the grass, nothing by the street...

I wanted to know what made me fly over my handle bars, and I played flat on the ground watching my bike falling on top of me...

I was so cut up and bleeding everywhere...

It was hot outside and I was 10 years old wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt...

When I got to my Grandmother's house...

I banged and banged, and kept hitting the door bell, I'm not hearing her footsteps she's not expecting me and she's deaf...

I wanted to surprise her...

I didn't think the whole thing through...

I have to shake this house...

4 bedroom huge house, 2 stories, chimney, I weigh 50 lbs...

I was alone...

I needed help to shake the house...

I was already told don't ask the neighbors for help unless someone is bleeding on the grass...

I bled on the street, a little on the stairs, but there was no blood on the grass...

I shook the house...

I heard her footsteps coming closer to the door...

Her always excited someone's at the door voice...

I'm coming...

She says who is it?

As if she's going to hear who it is...

She opens the door and I guess I looked different seeing me from a front angle than looking down...

She called my Mother and said your Daughter's here and I didn't do it...

Then she hung up the phone...

The phone rang...

I said Grandma phone...

After about 5 rings it stopped...

2 minutes later it rang again 5 rings...

I said Grandma do you want me to answer the phone?

No!

I don't want you to get blood all over it.

She said I have to go upstairs and get the box of bandaids...

I'll answer it after I open the box...

After about the tenth bandaid she put on me my Mother called again and this time she wasn't letting my Grandmother hang up...

When I was covered in bandaids and she had one left in the box...

She said next time you want to visit be careful...

What?

There's so many more...

I can answer and explain each question...

Being pushed to the wall I admit is a real attention getter...

Still here at 55...

UNALIVED...

​​​​​​sparrowsong

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