Series of love (mistakes)

11
I pushed too far
he fought too much
I am not enough.

We shared a day
not saying much
but that said enough.

We barely talked
we barely fucked
what’s up with that?

He’s pulling away
I can feel in each touch
lying next to each other
not saying much.

12
Every time I see you,
you’re different,
I’m different,
we’re different.

Not knowing why
or how
it just is.

We’re changing
not together
but actually yes
but no
but maybe.

I just don’t know anymore…

13
It was all a dream,
all play, pretend,
nothing was real,
all feeling blend.

Standing alone,
looking at them,
trying not to be bothered,
trying not to care.

She’s in my place,
what do I do,
say goodbye to him
or say goodbye to her?

14
I wanna feel love again.
Fuck that, fuck love.
Love makes you do stupid shit,
love makes you blind,
love leaves you behind.

Fuck that, I don’t want to feel.
I don’t want to feel love.
Love, love, love …
it means to be alone
after it ends.

Fuck being lonely,
fuck being alone.
I want to have no one
I want to have me
I want ME to be enough.

I want to feel nothing.