shadows of forgetfulness

the radiance on her face
was comparable
to the light of dawn
now, she barely smiles
there are no kisses on her lips
no caresses from her hands
the need to be together
withers away
absence and exasperation
grow in their place
her eyes
no longer seek mine
to converse

she listens or
remains silent
but when she speaks
she does so
with half-words
in half-sentences
we sit at the table and
she sees me as a stranger
with no ties, no name
no trust
sometimes with kindness
sometimes with fear
with contempt, or
with not emotions at all

sometimes she feels
the impulse to leave
not knowing where
she laughs with joy
cries of sadness
not knowing why
sometimes she screams
out of anger and frustration

but nothing is as anguishing and
heart-wrenching
as when crying with sadness
she asks something I cannot do
like taking her back home
because in this place
she no longer feels comfortable, and
I tell her something
that is not entirely true
to give her some peace and
not to lose hope
knowing how much
she disliked it
when people lied to her

her abilities, her faculties
her way of feeling
little by little will fade away
while the shadows
of confusion and forgetfulness
creep into her mind
obliterating the memory
of everything she
has always been and loved

I read aloud
her old book
play her old songs
mention names from her past
I talk to her about her, me
of all the things
we have done together, and
the things we still can do
any thread, however thin
that may evoke a memory
however brief
everything helps, and
all will be well

there will be no silence
where our heart
keeps beating
there will be no forgetfulness
where our memories
are kept alive
there will be no emptiness
because nothing
is simply nothing
if we remain together

all is not lost
if we still have life
still feel love
still find
strength and reasons
to carry on
through the day that lies
ahead of us, and
all will be well…
because we have faith
to believe it so