Sheep Count

Some nights,
Some much more than others
All my mind will find is you
Try hiding from thoughts under covers
But learn there's nothing I can do 

No question, 
Significant portion 
Of my life from start to now
My tomorrow's bent into contortion
Must still face it but ask how?

Finally re-taught how to inhale
Might remember to take that breath
For what? Feels like I'm locked in jail
Prisoner sentenced to lonely death

Sometimes my sadness grows to anger
Because I will never comprehend 
You deciding to go temp such danger
Leaving me here with no best friend

Can't stop the thought inside my head
Your intention played leading part
What'd you think would come of you dead?
It's only polverized my heart 

Rythem's off, Just not what it was
And again will never be 
Won't heal or mend the same because
You left without setting it free

Never figure what you were thinking
Only set back so much more 
And added weight atop me sinking
I'm even worse off than before 

Reflect back and I see you slipping 
Spinning, spirals out of sense 
Guess I was just desperately gripping 
To what I realize now rode the fence 

So as I lay here still, awake 
With all this on my mind 
I remind myself to force, to make 
The beautiful memories the ones I find
                -Ashley McRitchie