Side Tracks

The meaning of evil, ruining lives
Kills fathers, takes children, steals husbands and wives
And who would have thought, would get to me too
Wasn't part of the picture a younger me drew 
But low and behold, I was consumed
Was quickly apparent my future was doomed 
It always full circled to that selfish place 
So guilty, can not look myself in the face
Threw away everything, my goals and potential 
And lost to my heart the one detrimental
Blind to regret until I realized 
I'd some how let go my possession most prized
How it came to this can not be explained 
History repeats, only me to be blamed
If I only knew then, what I'm living today 
Not sure it would change it, I'm sorry to say
It's scary how easy it is to convince
And maintain, not tried to give it up since
It never was worth it, and never will be
Redemption seems pointless, way too far to see
But this won't work either, can't do it no more
Can WHAT I am now be WHO I was before?
Seems like a long shot to never look back
If I focus on her, should keep me on track
I'll never relinquish the time that I lost 
Give everything for it, I'd pay any cost
The lunches, the field trips, attending Sports Day
You can't name a price that I wouldn't pay
Missed trick or treating, my very most favorite 
Hope it's not too late, and I can still save it 
My sweet little angel missing her mama
Certainly wish I didn't cause all this drama
There's nothing on earth, in heaven or hell
Nothing I wouldn't do, my soul I would sell 
If I could take back all I've made her endure 
It's unfair to her, wouldn't have chose this I'm sure
I'm sorry my princess and I always will be
The last time I was happy was when you were three                   
-Ashley McRitchie