So much to live for....

So much to live for...

I’ve so much to live for,
As my life’s truly great,
From my boys and family, Please my life,
Don’t you take.
I’ve so much to live for,
Don’t let cancer be my death, Please don’t say I’m just too late,
In this moment,
To save my fate!

At just 15 years old,
In my timeline,
Is where my story truly gets told.
From that day on,
My body needed something different,
I call it fighter mode.
I needed to be strong.
From that age,
My journeys been so fast,
But never been so long.
Never did I think my life could be upturned,
and end up so wrong.
Never did I ever think I’d have 3 beautiful boys,
To carry the Bevan name on. But possibly without me by their sides.
Now tell me,
How do I tell them this,
With no tears in my eyes.
Way to crash their dreams,
Of Hope’s and smiles,
With an everlasting dad,
I don’t want them to resent me,
Growing up,
At the world,
All angry and mad.
how do I get them to see,
fate is just inexorable,
So don’t ever draw a tear or be sad,
Hopefully just remember me, Plain and simply,
As your superdad....

I’ve so much to live for,
As my life’s truly great,
From my boys and family, Please my life,
Don’t you take.
I’ve so much to live for,
Don’t let cancer be my death, Please don’t say I’m just too late,
In this moment,
To save my fate!

19 other people,
That had all the rarest cancers,
the same as I,
Only lasted 8 weeks,
Till on a floating cloud they now live,
up in the sky.
Only difference being,
From the age of only 13,
I remained high,
Not on their clouds,
But my own supply.
Radiation never worked for me,
the same as them though.
I was down to 3 maybe 2 weeks left,
In my life?
Halt the brakes,
Whoa!
My Dr told me to inhale and exhale from the cancer healing,
weed smoke.
Me looking at him,
Thinking he’s nuts,
It’s all a big joke.
But he wasn’t wrong though, As I’m 35 now and still I toke. My cancer now growing so slow,
As marijuana came along, And gave it a stroke.

I’ve so much to live for,
As my life’s truly great,
From my boys and family, Please my life,
Don’t you take.
I’ve so much to live for,
Don’t let cancer be my death, Please don’t say I’m just too late,
In this moment,
To save my fate!

From my chemo days,
My body taking a beating from those harmful radiation Ray’s,
My sperm killed off,
But now I’ve 3 boys,
So they got that test wrong, shall we say.
My bones left brittle,
But at least a joint a day,
Is keeping THAT cancer at bay.
Now looking back,
Last year,
on a cold october day,
I was given a shock,
As once more,
I’ve to fight off the demons, They’ve found a new lung cancer again!
Time for me to harness my strength and my will power, From each joy in my life I gain, As theres no way no how,
I’m gonna put my young boys through all that pain!
They’re not ready yet,
Their young lives will never be the same.
Please don’t do this,
It'll drive them insane in the brain!

I’ve so much to live for,
As my life’s truly great,
From my boys and family, Please my life,
Don’t you take.
I’ve so much to live for,
Don’t let cancer be my death, Please don’t say I’m just too late,
In this moment,
To save my fate!

As I look to the skies,
And think of days to come,
I just hope the surgery stops it,
And gives me,
from my cancer,
partial freedom,
Let that pass,
And let my weed healing, Commence and carry on.
Let it all past,
And please grant me my wish,
To see my 3 boys grow past 18,
And into men.
Being happy with partners, And Gifting me grandchildren. I want them to know their crazy grandad,
my boys were less fortunate. My dad was the best of them, But their coming,
Was just too late,
They’d have loved my dad,
To me he was my hero,
So great!

I’ve so much to live for,
As my life’s truly great,
From my boys and family, Please my life,
Don’t you take.
I’ve so much to live for,
Don’t let cancer be my death, Please don’t say I’m just too late,
In this moment,
To save my fate!
As I sit here and write,
In the darkness,
No light,
I wonder and ponder,
Deep into the night.
Writing till dawn,
And the new days,
Rising of light.
As the suns Ray’s come out, Burning so bright.
Making me cherish each day I’m alive,
With my kids,
Partner,
Friends and family.
Giving me more reason,
To carry on,
my inner fight,
Soaring onwards and upwards in life,
Not ever giving in to my health or it letting me plight,
For them all I’d do anything, Whether morning,
Afternoon,
Even in the middle of the dark and cold night...

I’ve so much to live for,
As my life’s truly great,
From my boys and family, Please my life,
Don’t you take.
I’ve so much to live for,
Don’t let cancer be my death, Please don’t say I’m just too late,
In this moment,
To save my fate!
I’d never be able to live with myself,
If memories of me being ill, Overshadow the greatest of memories to date,
Of smiles and happiness,
me not just being my boys dad,
But also their best mate! XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX