splash my wrists

remember early swimming
splashing about furiously
not moving forwards just treading
the point where it actually
makes any sense, you hit
some productivity, and
you think, Jeeze, I wish
I'd done that six lessons back
but, I wasn't brave enough
to take a step like that
I'd rather splash about
aimlessly creating
my life is calibrated at  that point
 - dog paddle
 not quite bonafide  stroke
 not quite a waddle
and sometimes, 
I FEEL like throwing the towel in.