Suicide

These thoughts,
I do not want to think
and yet,
I think these thoughts regardless.

I do not scream,
I do not cry,
I do think about it,
but I do not want to die. 

I am not suicidal,
I do no self-harm,

but I do not want
to think these thought,
and yet they still linger on. 

It's like drowning in self-hatred,
and suffocating from depression,
It's like looking into a dark abyss,
and my anxiety is ready to push me in.

I will stand my ground,
I will stay on the edge,
I will breathe these heavy breathes,
I will swim to the surface.

because,
I may think these unwanted thoughts

but,
I will not let them kill me.

Together, we can stay strong,
Together, we will all live on.