The Death Of A Man

Why is life so hard. Why does it seem like the good have to struggle, while the bad lifes life so free. Everyday i wake to pain to go to a job that doesnt pay a thing. Living check to check like a minds fool or a cog in a machine just a brainless tool. The thoughts of the afterlife makes it all worth while, if i just ate a bullet with a smile, everyone else thang that im going insane, but if they only knew the thoughts in my brain. There is no love no joy just pain, the failure that i am in life makes me a shame, to call myself a man, a boy, there are days where i feel as if i am a mindless toy. But to end the life would bring me joy, cause hell can't be worse  then life with no joy. No love no feel just  rage, so hello hell guess im here to stay.