" The Shadow Of My Father " ~ (diary page)
My father is an African and Cherokee Indian man
Who, in his youth, married a young white woman
And the struggles they endured
Cast a long shadow across my family and my heart
My father, a man of great charisma and selfishness
Left my mother and my siblings
To walk the path he chose as his destiny
But the shadow that he left
Never dissipated, followed me wherever I went
And still does to this day,
As a man, a mulatto man
It took years for me to understand
That I was not hated because of my father
Or treated poorly for his choice in marriage
But I WAS treated differently, for one reason
No, not the color of my skin
But because I hated myself
And I hated myself because my father
Never taught me to Love myself
And throughout my long time solitary struggles
It was God that held my hand
And taught me to appreciate myself
As a very unique man
And indeed, to appreciate the uniqueness
Of ALL men
It was then that I finally learned to Love
That I finally learned to rejoice
In this life that I've been gifted
And I am so filled with Love today
That my soul is over-joyed to simply state,
I owe so much of "who I am",
To, "The Shadow Of My Father"...
Tony Taylor
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Comments
Hello Tony...
God is a comforter to the fatherless...
It's strange how we blame ourselves for things that we didn't have a choice in...
How we take on the feeling of rejection...
Wrong voice we hear?
Thank you for sharing your personal story and personal struggles...
You came to Earth through the vessel to your path that lead to your triumph...
Cheers to you and...
Your Sons are a part of your legacy...
Great write!
Hugz and Smiles!
Feathers
Wow!! ~ what a fantastic comment FEATHERS!! ~ Thank You!!.......I LOVE that you mentioned my sons as a part of my legacy...... it was such perfect timing for me to hear that because I've been talking to & about them so much lately........I miss them so much even though we talk & text a lot...... It's just not the same as being there....... and I don't want to repeat my fathers mistakes......... anyway, I'll be seeing them soon....... but your timing was so perfect it REALLY touched me........thanx for ALWAYS being so supportive FEATHERS........ sending much Love to you and yours sweetheart!!........ your friend and admirer.......T xo
Hi Tony An honest Write which moved me deeply
I feel ignorant as i did`nt know what Mulatto meant
but i did remember reading one or two other poems you
have written on this,(as i read all your poems as you know):-)
anyways your write touched me more
because of how you learned to love with god showing you
and i must say you spread your love through your poetry
and your inspirational comments that you share with us everyday
A great write my friend love n hugs Debs xo
Yay! ~ Thanx DEBS!!....I was hoping you got to read this one........ less poetic.... but a lot of "ME" on display here..... and "not to worry" ALOT of people are unfamiliar with the word Mulatto...... some people think it's politically incorrect...... but I was never one to conform...... and the fact that you said it moved you is WAY more important to me....... always look forward to what you have to say girlfriend!!!.......thanx again for this!!....... hugs-n-smiles........T xo
dude!! I have so much to say about this poem, but I don't want to distract from it in even the slightest way, the perspective it takes is original, I can very much relate to it and have tried to embrace the way you look at the relationship, with little success....what you did here is to move to the light, and it's so hard to do, should be applauded....T, this is a book you've written here, you may have enough content for two or more....Margaret Atwood, a very famous Canadian writer has said that she visualizes an entire book in a flash, before she writes it, dialogue and the rest write themselves, you don't need to visual what you lived....this is a unique 'story' not an unusual scenario, sadly, but a beautiful story of a self making....the whole thing comes together for the reader with this pull quote....so well said
But I WAS treated differently, for one reason
No, not the color of my skin
But because I hated myself
And I hated myself because my father
My ex pastor is a psychoanalyst now practicing in your fine country told me something about my father that blew me away; I'll refrain, but it's in line with this write on a certain level ... message you about it sometime....hey, this is really superb, just saying....have great day, talk soon, bro
AWESOME comment CHRIS!!...... you have inspired me more than once..... first, with my women warrior writes...... but this is EXTREMELY relevant!!.......I am half way through the first chapter of my book entitled "MULATTO RUN"........ so when you said that this was a book, it was such a perfect affirmation....... and even more interesting was your mention of "the rest writing itself.."..... since I began writing this I gave the first 15 pages to my mother and I have been getting calls from friends and family (mostly family) who are sharing stories about themselves and my family that I was never made privy too........ in fact, I've been getting calls asking for more pages......... but what's so cool about this comment is the fact that, once again, here you are, a writer who's opinion I take to heart, giving me the rest of what my psyche needed to forge ahead......... and it's SO TRUE that when I sit down to write on this subject matter it seems to write itself....... as though I were just dictating what is already there just waiting to find its way to paper.......I can't express to you here...just how perfect your timing was with this my friend "Curtis Longstreet"!! (smiles).... looking forward to talking soon bro!!........thanx SO MUCH for this!!.........LOVE and ROCKETS!!.........T xo
My Dear Poetic Brother Tony,
Wow! What a beautiful introspective journey through your life. I think that as sons, we start out trying to fill our Fathers shoes, but sometimes their "soles" are worn out, and need to be replaced. As in your case, it can take many years to find the right cobbler. But once one does, he can walk the earth much more steadily, with his head held high. For you, it was God who took your "hand", and filled your "heart" with love; for yourself and your fellow man. This resulted in one of the kindest, most loving men that I've ever had the privilege of knowing. My Hero, Tony Taylor.
Peace, Love and Rockets,
xox Larry
Tony what a great poem about finding your feelings and forgiveing through God its wonderful feeling when GOD helps us out and we see the light, PEACE AND LOVE TO YOU my friend
Well done T` I agree with Larry too. You`ve done well to describe how life has affected you and how you`ve come through it and understand it better through your beliefs. A good write honey, well done.
G xx
Tony this is a beautiful piece!
WOW!!. DARKLY!!.... I'm so glad you went back and found this write.....I didn't even know there were these other comments here...... and the fact that you went back and found this piece.... says ALOT about you my friend......I Thank you so much beyond what words can convey.....a truly kind thing to do........ and VERY flattering,......I owe you LISA!!....... you've brought a happy tear....... Thank You my friend........hugs-n-smiles..........your friend and admirer!!.......T xo