The Symphony of Destruction

There’s an emptiness inside my chest, right beneath my quivering heartbeat, With a reminder of my dwindling mortality and an abundance of humanity. My nightmares are created by the unmerciful vengeance of my mind, Each one colored with a vibrance of anxiety from past mistakes Inked into each intricate woven memory, belonging to a girl who used to be me Who’s hopes begin with endless cycles of risks and the taunting hymns of fears for failure. 

To bask into the comfort of the shadows is considered a guilty pleasure of mine, Numbing slowly ebbing away Replaced by a cool sense of calmness, Where the symphony of moonlight sonata pulls the strings of lights in my youthful soul… A youthful soul already decaying from inside its shell, an accidental victim of harsh reality. Where the unstoppable are halted and the creatives are slowly becoming extinct. 

Hollowness is becoming a common theme amongst this generation, Validated by likes and rejuvenated by the comments of strangers. But who am I to judge those who are happy living this way? I’m merely another stranger who is unhappy with her own existence, Finding others to blame for the raging fires that burned the person who I used to be, Where the once calming waves that flooded my veins are gone, Vanishing under the assaulting drought of cursed reality and foolish hope. 

I’m simply a fragment of who I once was, the rest of the remains broken beyond repair. The figure in the mirror is no longer someone I recognize, only a hazy image of what’s left of me. I truly understand what it’s like living life without actually living… Education, schooling, jobs, sounds fulfilling on paper, but there is an endless loop of unhappiness. The old me is truly gone, taken over by this empty copy of myself. Where there are only questions and the answers I once knew are no longer the right ones. 

Who the fuck am I now? Who was I once before? Do I even want to get back to that person? I find there is no greater hate I have, then for myself. Because I ruined myself, slowly becoming the villian to my heroine.