THE TWIT CLUB!
As I get older.....
I often talk to myself....
When I need expert advice!
I don`t need flippin`anger management....
I just need people to stop pressing my bloody buttons!
My people skills are just fine thank you very much....
It`s my tolerance of idiots that needs slight attention!
The biggest lie I tell myself is....
I don`t need to write that down...I`ll remember it!!
When I was a child, I thought nap time was a punishment...
Now it`s like a bloody vacation!!
The day the world runs out of chocolate cake.....
Is just too bloody traumatic to think about!!
Even duct tape can`t fix `Him Indoors`.....
But it can muffle all his bloody screams!!
Wouldn`t it be great if we could put ourselves in the tumble dryer for ten minutes...
We`d come out wrinkle free....
And three dress sizes smaller!!
These bloody days.....
Getting lucky for me is.....
Walking into a room and actually flippin` remembering why I`m there.....
And it`s a golden bonus too, if I know what the heck I`m bloody doing!!
As I lay me down to sleep.....
I pray the Lord my shape to keep!
Please no wrinkles!
Please no bags!!
Please lift my Butt because it sags!
Please no age spots!
Please no grey!
And as for my belly.....
PLEASE TAKE THE BLOODY THING AWAY!
Keep me healthy!
Keep me young....
And thank you Lord....you`re my number one!!
G xx
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Comments
LOVE THIS VERY FUNNY
Thank you Greg, I`m glad you liked them sweetie.
Love G xx
so good so witty-and so bloody true-- love it love it
Thank you Terry, I`m glad you enjoyed them and thank you for the compliment on them too.
Love G xx
My dearest G,
Now, you've brought God into your Twit Club. Β I think you've made Him very happy. Β I think you've brought a smile to His face, and laughter to His heart. Β From your flippin' no need of anger management, you're now finding naps a blessing. Β You're being in the tumble dryer to reduce your wrinkles and waist, you're remembering what was your original intention, these all add up to the best comedy God has seen for years. Β So get ready my dear G, to be rewarded for your humor, tummy gone, never a sniffle, and eternal youth.
All my love,
xox Larry
I hope it made Him smile! He might think I`m being cheeky and slap my hand for me!!! I`m glad you liked it though sweetie!
Love you both
G xx
You are so good at making my day....I really enjoyed reading this!
Love you dearly
Yaaaaaaaaayyyyy! I`ve done it again! You do realize that your new mum is quite, quite bloody crackers though don`t you sweetie, you must do by now! Sometimes I keep my crazy to myself, but sometimes the little sod slips out and smacks me in the bloody face!!! I`m a silly twit and I enjoy every minute of it!!!...lol! Thank you for spotting this one too, I`m just like the lady in the picture, I refuse to get old, I`m still 16 and I`m sticking to it too....lol!
I love my baby Rosebud
Love Mummy xx