THE TWIT CLUB

A good Geography teacher should never be able to tell a pupil to get lost!

What`s a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in bushes trying to get a Pikachu!

In the beginning God created Heaven, Hell and the Earth, after that everything else was made in bloody China!

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double, is when you finally realize that there is only one slice of Pizza left and the bloody wife got there first!

Most household injuries are caused by saying " Whatever " during an argument!

You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone?! That`s just bloody common sense leaving your body!

My hubby confessed the other day that he doesn`t understand fast food! He`s been secretly eating it for years but says he seems to be getting slower and slower!

Him indoors is not completely bloody useless, I suppose he could always serve as a bad example!

Isn`t it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"!!!

What goes up but never descends?....Your age!!

Middle age is when work is significantly less fun and fun is significantly more bloody work!

When I need to assemble a family conference I simply kill the house wifi and sit bloody tight till all the silly sods come running to me!

They say that regular naps prevent old age! Definitely...especially if you take them while you`re bloody driving!

These bloody days, the older I get, the earlier it gets late!

What happened to the bloke who first discovered electricity?

The silly bloody sod got one hell of a bloody shock!

G xx