THE TWIT CLUB
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining!
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start a barbeque!
A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops, on my desk I have a work station...!
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain justΒ to be a bloody vegetarian!
Why do people believe you when you tell them there are 4 billion stars, yet still check when you say the paint is wet?
The voices in my head may not be real doctor! But they sure doΒ haveΒ some great ideas!
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a crap memory!
The main reason that Santa is so bloody jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live!!
Just laugh at all your problems!...everyone else bloody does!!
Never get into fights with ugly people....they have nothing to lose!
It`s not the fall that kills you...it`s the sudden bloody stop at the bottom that clinches the deal!
Always borrow money from a pessimist.....he`ll never expect to get it back!
He who smiles in a crisis has simply bloody found someone to blame!
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the journey!
Women who can`t hit harder,Β cheat and just hit lower!
A little boy asked his dad " How much does it cost to get married? " " I don`t know son, I`m still bloody paying! "
Just remember folks! If the world didn`t suck....we`d all bloody fall off it!!
Alchoholics like to take life with a pinch of salt...a slice of lemon and a bloody big slug of Tequila!
Never hit a man with glasses.... a baseball bat does a much better bloody job of it!
To be sure of hitting the target... shoot first and call whatever you hit... your target!
I married Mr Right....I just didn`t know his bloody first name was Always!!
To err is human...to blame it on someone else shows management potential!
If at first you don`t succeed, then skydiving ain`t for you!
Some folk hear voices....some see invisible people....others are boring and just have no bloody imagination whatsoever!
If winning isn`t everything...then why the bloody hell do they keep score?!
Virginity is like a soap bubble...one little prick and it`s gone!
Good health is just the slowest possible way at which one can die!
G xx
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Comments
Lol..you got me laughing real hard...you and Larry know how to make my day with your comedies...keep them coming
Love you dearly
Yaaay!! I`m glad you liked them sweetie, and I will try to keep them coming.
I love you sweetie
Mummy xx
After writing a poem about bullying tonight, this turned my more somber mood into lightness. Β Some good ones here - thanks for sharing!*!*!
Hi Jacki, Thank you, I`m pleased that you liked these few ditties and I`m glad they cheered you up too.Β
God bless
Love G xx