The Usual Morning Routine (a villanelle)

How do I write about happiness?
Now that I’m used to the isolation
I just don’t feel it anymore I guess.

I wake up and feel the heaviness
My chest is crushed beneath the weight
How do I write about happiness?

As I think about the process
My head starts to debate
I just don’t feel it anymore I guess.

My depression and anxiety begin a game of chess
A rook moves forward to square A8
How do I write about happiness?

Anxiety checks the king. Success!
But depression will retaliate
I just don’t feel it anymore I guess.

It takes anxiety’s second last piece with the maliciousness
it can gather. Depression wins and screams checkmate!
How do I write about happiness?
I just don’t feel it anymore I guess.