This is better....than nothing at all

Tonight I am breaking the promises
i made to myself again.
The ones I made 
to my heart and soul.
That I would not write
poetry to you ever again.

To lock the doors to my heart
So that thoughts of you
Could not get back in
And dwell in my dreams.

Throwing away 
the keys to my heart
Into the deepest ocean.
Never to be found again.

To exercise the ghost you left
haunting the ruins of my soul.
Walking about inside it
As if I was still your home.
As if I was ever enough
To keep you here.

I promised I would let you go.
To continue surviving and breathing
Even with the dagger
You left in my heart.

I promised myself 
I did not need thoughts
of you to write 
my poetry any more.

But here I am again.
Writing to you more poems.
Because you are still at the base
of every one of my thoughts.