Thoughts That Occur.

On some certain nights,

I lie awake and think about my life.

Who will I be? Who was I? Who am I?

All these questions I consider with a need.

A need to know the truth in my life.

A need to know my mistakes and learn from them.

A need for people who will love and accept me.

And as I get closer and closer to finding out just who I am,

I discover not just what lays on the surface.

Deeper and deeper I dig into my soul,

Finding every possible detail about myself.

What do I discover?

A world inside of me,

Full of hopes and dreams.

This world has never been so real.

It’s like it is right in front of me.

 I can see my dreams coming true, and my hope reassured.

But as I look deeper in this world,

I see a sad little girl not even noticing the things right in front of her.

She thought this is what she wanted,

But as each dream came true she was even more disappointed.

 She thought the desires of her heart would fulfill her needs,

But she soon realized that was a fatal way.

I look at her closely then suddenly I realize, that little girl is me.

It instantly hits, shame and disappointment in myself.

How could I have been fooled up to this point?

It was the darkness that looked as if it was glowing,

But how could that be?

I grow deeper into this thought, trying to make sense of it.

 I soon understand I can’t ever change the past,

But I can control myself now, and what I do in the future.

I will have a new hope, but not in the darkness.

I will have it in the light that is forever.

This hope, will never fail me.

I look out my window and discover the sun coming over the mountains.

I smile, as this is a sign of real hope.

Hope for a better day.

Hope for a better life.

And hope for a better me.