Time

They say "Time Heals all Wounds". If so, why do I still feel 20 years of hurt and pain? From the trauma, from the years of abuse, from the rejection and from the years of family drama. If time heals all wounds, Where is my deliverance? Where is that happy feeling?  Where is that breakthrough? Where is my healing? 20 years of hurt and pain and what have you to offer? A cliche, a quote, a smiling preacher, some You Tube Videos, a Life Coach and a Teacher. I've Self-Medicated. I've rededicated. I've sown a $1000 seed and watch it disappear because of greed. I've even turned to my ex for some late night sex. Still the hurt and pain is there. I played with puzzles and analyzed some pictures. I even memorized about 20 scriptures. You told me to fast and You told me to pray and the hurt and pain just won't go away. I tried going to that happy place but I all I could see is my abuser's face. I feel the walls closing in and that the world has left me out. This can't possibly be what my life is all about? But I can't express all this. What will they say? They will just label me and call me Cray Cray. I guess I will just keep going and keep up the show. After all, nobody is really going to know. So I will keep smiling and hide the pain inside. I will just hope and let time decide.