Today

I walked into St Luke’s hospice
Rosary in hand
Not knowing what to think, what to feel or how to react
 
I saw her lying there
Eyes rolled back
Staring at the ceiling
Totally unaware, definitely not blinking
 
All I could hear was the sound of her gasping for air
My mind moved closer to her
But my feet wouldn’t dare
 
I remembered the good times
Because I know that’s what she wanted
I remember all those nursery rhymes
Those days I took for granted
 
I wanted her to touch me
Hold me for one last time
To tell me that she loved me
To cry, to hide, to die by her side
 
“I love you and I’m going to miss you” are the last words I said to her
I remember her smiling
And saying she’s at peace
I left her side knowing that she’s safe to say the least
 
Its moments like these that you realise you took her for granted
I wish I could see her smile
Damn, that’s all I ever wanted
 
I walked outside to clear my mind
Moments later my dad signaled me in
I knew it was time
I knew it was about to begin
 
I shut my eyes and counted to 10
Said the Hail Mary, Our Father
Who knows what then?
 
I watched her breathe..
One……. Two……. Three
The room went silent
 
I crumbled,
the angels had taken her
But I know she’s so much safer there
I just hope one day I get to see her
I hope that day is today.