Transition

30/06/2020
Transition 

I’ve been toking and smoking,
For over half of my lifetime.
Has it all been for nothing,
Has it all been in vein?
Of course it hasn’t,
As I’ve my 3 beautiful boys,
But I’ve got another type of lung cancer again!
22 years of smoking my bong,
I’m not a ‘stoner',
So don’t take me wrong.
In the beginning, 
Not knowing it was what,
was keeping my body so strong.
Kept giving it up and letting my cancer in,
If I’d have continued that path,
I’d never have lasted even half as long.
At just 19,
I was fitter then,
Although titter tottering,
On a piece of ice,
Only 2mm thin.
Somehow I half slayed,
 this most dreadful of diseases, 
But by smoking,
Not eating cannabis,
In my cooking.
I’ve now,
After all these years,
Recieved a medical script.
It cost me through the teeth,
But if it helps me to live,
It helps me to be alive,
Then I’ll quit the combustion,
And try the eating type vibe.
See I don’t smoke it to get myself high,
I smoke it,
As it’s the only thing for now,
That’s giving me a life.
No wife,
But 3 amazing kids,
I fear if they lost me now,
Their poor little lives,
 will simply hit the skids.
I know they are tough though,
As their lives,
Unbeknown to them,
Has been One hell of a rough one.
They just think it’s normal,
As is all,
 that they’ve ever known,
Since they graced this earth,
Starting with Kobe,
nearly 14 years ago.

So I’m finding it hard for the switch over.
I’m used to instant pain relief that my bong does give,
Compared to the longed out relief,
 from eating this gift.
It’s natural and it’s kept me here,
And will do,
Keeping the reaper,
Just at arms reach.
Cracks are now starting to show,
Seeing as this new cancer,
has been allowed to grow.
So I’ve a date at the hospital,
To take the tumour out,
To give my life another go.
So is the reason I’m transferring to eating,
This magical herb that I now mustn’t smoke, 
As my lungs need to be clear,
So not even 1 little toke.
For my boys,
Family,
Partner and me,
I’m going to do it!
Then after the operation,
‘Wyrd bîd ful àræd’
What will be will be,
Fate is inexorable for every living thing,
That our eyes do see.
I know I can do it,
As I’ve the inner strength of many.
I’m full of optimism,
For this operation,
 I’m ready!
So I’ll eat my flap jacks,
Flavour my pasta with ‘herbs',
I’m gonna kick my cancer,
Out and past the suburbs,
It’ll keep on going,
Till it reaches the edge of our atmosphere,
And disappears as it burns!
Hopefully they get it right,
As I don’t want to perish,
Like a fish caught in a net.
I’m not ready for the urn,
And can’t go yet,
But if I do,
Remember me,
As I go from this life and into the next!