Trauma

I stared into your eyes while you cut me open
And let the blood run free for air
Watched you rust you were supposed to be golden
So I got to stop saying my prayers

Can't erase what I don't want to be permanent
So I have to live inside it for days
The serenity in my survival is stolen by turbulence
And shrieking to fill up the space

Chewed up my spirit and took all the flavor
Laughing behind palms and blackening the oxygen
Locked in the closet because I know it's much safer
Pushing me down and robbing my confidence

My eyes are holding back the teardrops
I am as dry as a desert
So shaken that it's too hard to sob
Too hard to stay alert

I don't want to take advice
I am as deaf as a post
But I have to sit and think twice
If it's worth it to be alone

Wrote my words down because I hurt my throat
But I am still breathing
My life has some hope
But I am still healing