hot tubs like you

you loved hot tubs
and I loved you
(not hot tubs so much)
you were also like a hot tub 
too hot until I dipped my toes in
and suddenly, I needed more
until I was in over my head
quite literally 

we used to play mermaids in
the hot tub at your grandparents house
we would jump in the snow
then into the water and scream
but when we were anywhere but there
we didn’t play mermaids
because you didn’t want to
you were scared to be considered 
“weird” even though you weren’t

you were like a hot tub
perfect until I felt too much