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This place I’m at, I’ve been here before.
Its familiar yet foreign.
It cripples me to be back to a feeling I never thought could replay again.
I know this place.
This place does not own me,
It fuels me.
It’s a song I over played only to get sick of, and yet I still went back to listen once more.
This place collects my faults and repeats them.
This place steals my passion.
This place is my home.
I’ve lived here for years.
Its consistently inconsistent and wants me to stay.
I cling to this place that slowly kills me.
It’s all I’ve ever known.
I fear leaving.
I fear living.
I fear the growth needed to try once more.
I refuse to feel nothing again.
Could it be possible to heal while breaking? Or am I breaking as I heal?
I will not drown here.
I do want to bring some of it with me when I leave.
Moderation.
Best of both worlds.
A healthy yet toxic collaboration.
Balance.
A place I yearn for.
I’ll make it.