The voyage

How many times have I heard it, the voice whispering in my head?
How many times has it told me, I'd be so much better off dead?
A place that's only a heartbeat away, a place so impossibly near...
A place with no pain or suffering, a place free from worry and fear.
A one way ticket to nothingness, an escape from all of my ills...
A voyage paid for with a razorblade, or bought with a handful of pills.
All I want is to finally be happy, but that's completely ridiculous I see.
How on earth could I be happy, when no one on earth could ever want me?