Walls

There are certain people that are more brick and more stone then blood and bone.
That’s fine. They can do what they want.
But is when they are parents, and they have children who need them, that their wall demeanor becomes a real curse.
Simply put, they never left you, but it’s not to say they were ever really there.
It’s hard to grasp and often creates a ripple effect but walls are just barriers that block the sunshine.

So, to my father.
What do you want me to say.
When I don’t feel like speaking at all.
I’d much rather whisper,
Into my pillow or when in a stall.
Locked away from the blue.
The shame I felt when I grew.
When I grew up.
Learned a thing or two.
About how people can be dressed up as brick walls.

Walls end where another meets.
Corners where people slip between the seams.
People tend to abandon dreams.
When they become brick walls.

Walls to which I’ve touched.
Wanting bricks to come undone.
Rebecome my father, my friend.                        
The person who swore they stay with me until the end.
But people forget their promises when they become brick walls.

Walls are so strong within themselves; they won’t be pushed around.
You can see that they’re thinking they’re wearing their crowns.
But their only use is creating brown shadows while they frown at the ground.
You can get angry and scream and pretend to be heard.
But don’t expect them to reply. They’re walls after all.

You see, when people become brick walls.
They begin to lose their minds.
They are the forgotten people left behind.
And the few of us.
That needed the people that became brick walls.
Holding hope in one hand and spray-paint in the other.
Trying to bring light back.
But walls aren’t people.
The people that became walls, are now just walls.
And we are the children that cry in the corners.
And are pushed up against walls, by the very hope we needed to be free of them.

I know you, as a wall, have been hurt.
People don’t become walls by simply being less alert.
Your diamonds turned to dirt.
And I am sorry.
I am sorry I cannot stay.
To watch dirt wash away.
I am done with walls; I am ready for bridges.
I am ready for diamonds.
And I hope, one day I can be a good parent.
So my children know they never have accept people who are walls.
And I hope one day, the stone concaves.
And I can come back to you.
It would be really nice to meet my father.