War inside my head
Depression
My head, My thoughts, its all a scrambled mess,
But today its a struggle, Sure fear I'll fail the test,
All of my demons and fears, Their voices so loud, So powerful, Laughing, Cursing as i lay with my head in my arms and a face full of tears,
''PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK''
I yell it's been 18 years,
It's grasping so tight, Wants to end all of my light,
Am i really strong enough to overcome this fight??
I'm shattered, Exhausted...
To my depression, Go and get yourself deported,
Maybe you would have if you wasnt so supported,
So empty, So alone, only then you ever seem to answer the phone,
So filled with enthusiasm, So excited to share your deepest dark thought,
I start to listen, let it sink in but by then its to late, I have accepted my mind has again been caught,
Well on this day i as i lay on my bed,
Depression, My poison, You have full control of inside my head,
You tell me to do it, just end it all,
Maybe be easier to tumble and fall?
Please don't forget you are all my world,
The last i need to say,
So today as I lay here on my bed,
Just know its my depression if i am found dead.....
So its later today...
I have came to lay down on my bed,
I put pen to paper about these thoughts in my head,
Still twisting and turning around in my brain,
I hope I don't let them send me insane,
Like hands round a neck as you gasp for air,
Suffocating from within so hard to bare,
The moon starts to shine bright in the sky,
A wee voice inside me reminds me of the only reason why,
If the moon can light up the full night,
Surely my flicker is enough for my fight??
So i sit watching crap on the box,
As my stomach starts to loosen it's knots,
My small wee light, So powerful as it screams and knocks,
''DEPRESSION''
I laugh
''YOUR NO LONGER CALLING THE SHOTS''
So as I lay here later down on my bed,
I no longer believe that i should be dead,
My light so bright...
I'M STILL ALIVE,
Sweet like honey in a beehive,
So until the morning and my thoughts are torn,
I smile, I laugh...
I'VE BEEN REBORN
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Comments
Write it all out, it's amazing therapy and a truly brilliant crowd on here...♥️
Yes, couldnt agree more, i never share my poems just something i do at home randomly, just know there is not enough awareness for mental health, especially for men but they need to know its not something to be embarrassed about, even if just writing, it's helped me get through dark times for the past 18 years really is therapeutic.
A self war easily ended....
he's gone
thank you for sharing and shining a light on a wide spread challenge! I hope you realize your gift of writing, this is heartfelt and powerful! please keep writing and Welcome to Cosmo!.........................................Jim
Thank you for your appreciation, never share what i write normally, i just let my hand do the writing for me so to speak, just write how i feel at that exact time, to many lives are lost to mental health really is the silent killer.
Lisa.
wonderful poem