What has changed

The sun sets calmly as I watch
I think of all I have done
To wonder what might have been
Anticipate what's next to come

I have seen misery
that haunts me as I sleep
Slumberous I feel
In my dreams I weep

Was it not expected 
I thought again
Could I have stopped it
Was I born with sin

I ask my self this
Is it my own doing
Should I reject it
Other lives been ruined 

The violence I caused
And the purloin
I was bitter
I watched her dying

I know from where it came
The reason of my acts
I live forever fearful
Of a swift relapse