What my boys truly go through...

What my boys truly go through....

Too much pain,
Tears and sufferings,
For My 3 young boys,
They’ve had to grow up so quick,
As they’ve already seen and heard,
way too many things!
Just being my Suffolk young carers, 
Growing their angel caring wings!

The emotions they've been through,
Like a rollercoaster ride,
Wondering what will come in next,
In the flotsam,
from our lives tide...
Happiness to sadness,
In the blink of an eye,
Crying to laughing,
As you take a look,
 from side to side.
What in their fragile minds must be lurking,
In the darkness,
At the back of their minds.
How much sadness does the light side hide?
All I want,
in life for them,
Is to feel eternal happiness inside,
Not just for others,
With their cheeky,
Beautiful laughter and smiles,
On the outside.
But for themselves,
So they never,
Ever,
have to ever delve in to their minds dark side.
As remembering all the bad things,
Will only blot out the good,
That I’ve tried to show them,
The whole time I’ve been alive.

See,
Daddy may be here in 20 years,
Or I may not live past,
This new years cheer.
But whenever I do go,
Just know,
Eternally and always,
I’ll forever be here.
With you,
Or Watching over you,
I’ll cherish every nano second,
 from here or up there,
Wherever I am,
I’ll protect you all,
So never fear.
As in body or spirit,
I’ll always be here!

My 3 little muses,
Taking on 3 different kind of poses.. 
Each unique in your own little ways,
But my christ can you sometimes be the same!
All 3 of you liking the last word in an argument.
To you 3,
Arguing is an art,
It’s a Game...
But no matter the outcome,
No matter if you’ve made me mad insane,
I can’t really say a thing,
As I’m realising,
I’m more than likely the one to blame.
I’m sorry my beloved boys,
I’ll start to be more sane,
Taking back the mantle,
Hopefully in your eyes,
Of me being the greatest dad to you 3,
All 3 thinking the same.
.
Just know I’ve succeeded in life,
Where others haven’t.
It doesn’t seem it,
But you 3,
are my continuous glimmers of hope,
Of light,
Not a gram of darkness 
Although you rarely glimpsed me,
Not Laughing or,
Without my smile you see...
For all you boys,
I try and make all and any sadness,
Remain in the darkness unseen.

By the ages of 10,
6 And 4,
Half my boys world,
Strolled out the front door,
Never looking back,
At my boys,
Who she says she adores, 
Their own mother,
Being in one of their minds deepest stores,
I don’t want their image of her,
To be one that’s in any way distorted or unsure.
Surely your memories of your mum,
Should be full of fun,
And a Love that’s warm and pure.
So no matter my grievances,
And what I think.
I want my kids to love their mum,
The same as me.
No less,
No more.
So along with all of the pain,
Tears and suffering,
They’ve also been through,
A marriage break up,
4 years before.
Just their dad has been there though,
Even when in pain or financially floored,
I’d go to hell and back for my boys,
As by me,
They are that adored!
Their mum does also love them,
It’s just a shame,
She’s so self absorbed!

Too much pain,
Tears and sufferings,
For My 3 young boys,
They’ve had to grow up so quick,
As they’ve already seen and heard,
way too many things!
Just being my Suffolk young carers, 
Growing their angel caring wings.
They’re my own creations,
Of that I’m so very proud,
They are my all,
everything!
And I’ll always shout that out loud!