What's In Store

After my number
was proclaimed

I went to the counter
to claim my prize

The clerk with laser eyes
took me in the back
to have my unregistered ass
time stamped

While waiting to be processed

two burly zombie employees
rudely threw me
on a conveyor belt  

At the end of my trip

a disinterested 
former prom queen
slapped a sticky bar code
on my forehead
and product placed me
eye level high
on a freshly wiped shelf

Dazed and confused

I complained 
to the leprechaun manager
who was not amused
that a valued customer
was so thoroughly abused   

He dropped me in a cart
and rolled me over
to customer relations
where a gum smacking teen
gave me a keychain
and a coupon
I was told not to lose

As I wandered 
the dimly lit 
parking field
looking for my car

I had the chance
to reflect
on the sins
of the dying
brick and mortar
retail establishment
and wonder
if I should shop
online next time