“Where the hell have I put my keys?”

Dam and blast it, I’ve gone and done it again, “Where the hell have I put my keys?” Oh what a friggin’ pain.. I’ve looked in the rubbish bin outside of my backdoor, I tipped it upside down with garbage all over the floor.. sifting thru the empty bean cans and trawling beneath the junk, all I got was filthy and my fingers well they stunk

So I have a bath and shove my clothes in the washing machine, checking if the drum rattled if you know what I mean.. nope, no keys innit I’m very sorry to say, I’ll have to keep on searching much to my dismay.. I make myself a cuppa and I sit myself down, with my slippers on my feet and my dressing gown..trying to retrace my steps since I used my keys last, let’s think out loud, about twelve hours have past.. I start to watch the television and I get engrossed, I am in my element this programs all about a ghost

Wow I’ve got the heebie-jeebies tho that viewing was good, now I’m feeling rather peckish so I make myself some food, just a fried egg sandwich with dollops of red sauce, I love my tomato ketchup, it’s my favourite of course.. my mind wanders off to what I was doing before, Oh yes I couldn’t find my keys when I went to lock the door.. so I’m back to where I started at the start of this poem, hunting for my house keys to lock up my home.. then I put my left hand in my dressing gown pocket, “Woo hoo there’s my keys” I go to my front door and lock it!!