Who Am I?

Memories of a little boy, innocent, but traumatized
A mind very young and gullible, free but conditioned 
Too young and inexperienced to say, "Remember this moment"
I didn't cast stones... I chunked boulders
At me, at myself, sinking without knowing
Where there is no memory, is who "I" am
Everything after is who I became
Switched identity to feel a sense of belonging
Ideas of being lost, or finding, were non-existent
Skater, Prep, Wigger, Peckerwood... Damaging labels
Fractured personality congregates through me
Moving swiftly from roadblocks to cataclysms 
The worst is surely over, it's up to me
Who is me?
The answer in close vicinity, but feels unattainable 
Wrecking havoc is diseased and tiresome
Years of drugs, low self-esteem, being fake
Has eaten my soul, paralyzed my spirit
There is an answer, a solution, a resolution
Fear cripples me sometimes, its stench is familiar 
"I" am not this body, for now I reside in skin 
The "I" cannot be found by writing, only a mirage
The illusion is thick, my brain plays tricks
"I" is found in my awareness somehow
In the meantime I love "me"... The flesh, bone and meat
When Grace kisses me, it's time
Stopping time is possible in my world, fantasy? Reality?
Your mind can hold you back, potential altered
Beyond the mind is limitless opportunity
Beyond that? No idea
Golden heart glows with enthusiasm
Green and blue surround myself
Myself? HMMM no idea