Poem -

why

why should i be sad , because of life
why should i miss out, because of life
why should my heart be broken , because of life
why , when so many tears have already flown
why should i be lonely , too 
why should all my confidence go , because of life 
and when i am broken, and when i am ill
why should i not feel capable, not feel capable 
why, when we have been terrified in our souls
why should our confidence then go 
why should i be broken, sad and ill in the mind
when it wasn't my fault 
why should i still be in pain , because i never got the love i deserved  when i was little
why should i be the one, the one in my family, with their mind scattered everywhere 
why should i be the one crying , because everyone else can do what they want 
why should i have suffered so much , in life
when they are all living and functioning 
why should a kind girl like me be sitting here with no friends to see
why should a kind girl like me be battling every day
with her broken mind and her broken heart 
battling every single day , wishing she wasn't this destroyed
still not able to feel capable of doing those things, that others take for granted 
missing out all the time, all because of the cruelty of this life
why can't i be the normal girl 
the one who is smiling and laughing 
where has the confidence in me gone to 
it has spiralled away , when the darkness came 
where are her friends, it's not her fault she is still frightened
all she is trying to do , is to heal
and she just wants her friends
why when she is already hurting does her friend have to make her feel abandoned
she gets more tears, more lonliness, and she asks why why why
can't i talk to my friend, she asks why , and it feels like it's all punishing her
why , she asks, why do even the nice things hurt her
why , she asks, why should i be lonely just because i am fearful and unwell 
why , she wanders, doesn't she deserve as much love, friends
feeling safe, just like others
why is she left here , all alone, feeling like a broken child 
why is she left here, all alone, with more pain than she ever asked for 
why the extra sadness, from people , she wanders
it's not like her heart is not hurting enough 
she wanders why she can't have his support, his friendship 
as i am sitting here broken
why me , why me, why am i the one lonely and without
why me , why me , why aren't the boxes here
the boxes full of gold
why aren't the treasure's here , instead of the problems
why isn't the brave one here, the one with rainbows 
why is it a little unloved broken girl is sitting here
the one with thousands of tears

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