WHY CANT I?

Why can’t I smile to the invisible man
That offers more comfort
Than medicines that try to rearrange me

Why can’t I whisper to the wind
That howls outside
Informing me of troubles’
Approaching din

Why can’t I laugh aloud
At thoughts that fight
For prominence in my over worked mind
Making me weak

Why can’t I stare
At the blurred image in the mirror
And wonder why his features
Do so much to maim me

Why can’t I act lost
After following so many paths that
Had no answers
But fuelled me with emotions
That seek to wreck me

Why can’t my body language
Be erratic and tense and unsure
As I fight for longevity
That inertia wishes to snatch from me

Why can’t I let myself go
And swaddle my conscience in
Mind boggling insecurities
Which have no roots but
Forever seem well fed from my
Troubled mind

Why can’t I ask for help silently
And expect those close to me to hear
A voice that does not want hope
But freedom

Why can’t destiny
Work independently of me
And I passively go along
Saving my energy for fleeing