death (yes, this is morbid)

DISCLAIMER (and trigger warning I guess?)

death is a huge part of this poem

anywho: I am fine, healthy, not exactly happy but I’m working on it and sorry for this awfully morbid poem to be one of the first ones I’m writing in a while lol

here’s the actual poem though:

death is so sudden
you’re here one second, gone the next
you yell too much, but I would rather you yelling than be gone
and this may be stupid
i don’t think I talked to you once but
you were part of one of the things that makes me the most happy right now

i would like to think you died happy
doing the thing you loved
I’m pretty sure that you did
but it’s midnight now, it’s the first day
after I can say “he died”
and you dying happy doesn’t matter anymore
you’re dead

and nothing will ever change that

i feel terrible
i was goofing around while you died
completely unaware
we were joking when we said you’d be the first to die
you were on the older side
but it’s not like you were knocking on death’s doorstop
major heart attacks don’t care though 

so yeah, you’re dead and I’m still here
we all are. You were our family
maybe not by blood, but in our hearts 
and maybe nothing will be right again
we are in life
you’re in the after
i don’t want to laugh, but it might make you smile
so I’ll keep laughing
in between thoughts of you