You

Whenever I saw you,
My heart started to pound.
My head got full and my face got warm.
I felt like an idiot every time I talked.
I feel like an idiot just writing this.

I was a failure when you weren't happy.
I cryed when you were depressed.

Yet you thought so highly of me.
Told me you loved me as you curled into my side.
I ran my fingers through your hair,
Watching as you slept.

You were the reason for my happiness.
The reason I was still here.
You promised you'd never leave.

You lied.

Do you know what that phone call was like?
Your father's shaking voice.
Your mother's cries in the background.
They say I dropped the phone.
Fell to my knees and screamed.
But I don't remember.

You never would've believed how many people came.
You always said no one cared.
Turned out everyone did.
I could still see the scars
When I came to say goodbye.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

I'm sorry I failed.