Your hold on me

Why does it hurt me so,
Is it wrong to let the pain show?
I'm not the best but not a bad guy,
So shouldn't be sat here wondering why,
It's happened once more,
It's still so raw,
Should I be apologising for falling in love,
It makes me smile when you give me a playful shove, 
What's wrong with me what did I do?
Because for all my faults I actually love you,
But it doesn't matter isn't fair to say this,
We could have been a goal instead a near miss,
Best thing is we get to see each other nearly everyday,
And I get to pretend everything's okay,
I don't blame you can't make you love me back,
I smoke too much and shit in the sack,
I don't wanna be with me either,
When I kiss there's too much saliva,
I have too many films no wonder I'm single,
I'm a paranoid shut in don't want to mingle,
So I don't blame you as I don't like me too,
Any guy will be lucky to be chosen by you