Your life has just begun

My story isn't over for it has only just begun. My heart may be broken but my soul, not undone. When I feel overtaken by the pains of this earth, I remember I have purpose, I know I have worth. It is a constant struggle to remain upbeat and happy, to put on a fake face and hide all that is crappy. It gets so tiring just trying to be a light. I want the world to know the darkness that I fight. This darkness has a name and it is called severe depression. It overwhelms me at times and turns my joy into aggression. I become a different man, a man that I hate. Sometimes I want to die and escape my awful fate. I know my God can heal me and take all this away. But every time I get near Him I turn around and stray. I don't run into His arms and say Abba save me! I run back to the world where it is not so scary. I'm scared of not fighting this battle, for it's all Ive ever known. When He does take it from me, what will it be that I'm shown? Depression is no joke nor to be taken lightly. It turns beautiful people into something ugly and unsightly (to themselves). The truth is though that we are all wonderfully made, encompassed by a light that will never ever fade. The darkness may be strong but there will always be a hope. Let Jesus take your pain when you feel you just can't cope.