A little bit about myself

                I am 39 years old and I have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I know that some people view that as not even a problem. There are times where I think those close to me don’t understand how that works or get annoyed when I can’t seem to function like they do. Everything is a battle from within, it takes hours for me to actually let my true feelings in a matter out because of fear that I am going to let people down or someone will leave because I don’t know how to handle these things.
               
                Anger and emotions get out of control and it is viewed as being childish or a temper tantrum. I try to get away knowing that I am becoming some kind of ticking time bomb. In some situations it just makes it even worse. It has also taken a toll on my relationships especially with the woman I love. It blindsides her and I only hurt her and that is something I don’t want to do. Seriously?!? Who wants to hurt someone they love? I sure as hell don’t!
               
                 I don’t want to be like this, even try to keep it under wraps but it still goes over the edge. So many times things go over the edge and when I realize what I have done I am not always sure how I get there or I am not sure what I was thinking at the time. I really don’t feel comfortable in the world. I feel like I don’t belong at all, everyone else is normal and I am the freak that doesn’t know how to act and is still feels like I am not where I am supposed to be.