All My Love

Maybe life isn’t meant for people who think like me. You know who I’m talking about. The outcasts of society. People who are different. People just like me, who get bullied everyday for being themselves. Fighting on and on until, BANG, the gun goes off, or they down a bottle of pills, or are found hanging from the ceiling with broken necks. If you’re lucky it doesn't hurt and you go peacefully. The raging sea in your mind finally flattening out into still water.
I stared down at the tearstained paper I held in my shaking hands. This was the final one I had felt I needed to write.

All my love,
            Evangeline
One for my mother. One for my sister. That was it. Papa and Uncle Theo were both already in heaven. I had no friends. My mom and molly were my anchors. They had kept me on this earth, but now it was time to go.
This was it. This was supposed to be my final goodbye. I had everything I needed spread out on my desk. The little slivers of metal, who over the past few years had grown to be my “Little friends”. 3 bottles of the small capsules that currently held the end of my life in them.  
“No need to be scared Evangeline. Life will be better after this.”
“What life?” I thought, responding to the demons in my mind.
“Exactly Evangeline. No life, No problems.” The demons whispered.
My wrists ached for my little friends to slide across them, for the pills to slide down my throat. So that's what happened. Blood rolled down my wrists, staining the once cream colored carpet. The pills went down the hatch handful by handful. Then life faded away.
Dear mom,
Life was never meant for me. Life is like an ocean on a windy day. Some people will prosper and surf the waves that are created. Most will swim in the shallows, where they are comfortable, and never risk their lives to experience true joy or love or happiness.
Then there are the few like me. The ones who are drowning. The waves crash over our heads. Every time we reach the surface again to get a breath of air we are almost immediately pushed back under by the waves of the raging waters.
I’ll be ok once i'm gone mom. I’ll be with papa. I’ll finally be able to meet him and see how his eyes gleam when he talks about you, just like Uncle Theo says when he tells me stories about you guys.
Don’t let this kill you inside mom. You've always been such a strong person. You are the kind of person who surfs the waves. Never give up mom.
All my love,
           Evangeline
Dear Molly,
Oh my dear sister. You are young now (almost 6!) but you will understand life isn't always good to people. My dear baby sister you must thrive. I hope you have a long, joyful, and prosperous life. I hope you're able to climb to the tops of mountains and scream and sing your lungs out just like you've been talking about since you were 5. I hope you find an amazing person to love who will in return always love you back. I hope you 2 will rule your own little kingdom ( even if it's just a few cats or dogs) because darling you deserve it. You deserve to be happy. You deserve great things. I love you so much.
All my love,
    Evangeline      

All my love,
    Evangeline.