Beneath the shadows

I sit and watch the flames of the fire cascade across the chimney walls, it's embers casting vivid orange hues. Its easy to get lost in the memories I chose to forget. If I would allow myself a little reprieve to believe that it was not my fault, perhaps then I would not continue this vicious cycle of blame that I have claimed as my own. If I could understand the psyche of an emotionally absent father, the irational fears of a co-dependent mother, the reckless behaviour of a rebellious sister, perhaps...Perhaps then these photographs depicting a happy family unit would not be such a bitter pill to swallow. Perhaps if these photographs didn't conjur images of heated arguments, slamming doors, soul-wrenching tears, shattering glass...loneliness..perhaps.Maybe then blame would not reside heavily on my tired shoulders, maybe then the shadows that lie beneath the ashes of this family portrait would not cause my soul to cry.