Diasians want to land in New York

Diasians Want to Land in New York

Word Count: 1224

This is a story about five brave extraterrestrials who took it upon themselves to travel to Earth. The enormous Diasians are the appointed Official Care-Takers of their planet.

The Diasians are consistently coming to the aid of their planetary neighbors. Their indulgence to rescue other civilizations from genocidal madness is the direct consequence of their unabridged will to serve. The Quest is the Quest, they all sang together from within the Bio-Nest of their gigantic space ship from far-away Diasian.

Basically, they wanted to share an upgraded program about the GOD WORDS, mentioned for millennia throughout the various communities of earth. Additionally, they had cures for diseases. They could fix the earth’s politics, fix earth’s religions and they could show the earthlings how to make safe and simple power for the entire planet.                                           

Anyway....
The Diasians send out a call to an aircraft control tower. But the soaking wet mosquito bait, and already pissed off, human being from the great city with the awe-inspiring torch-carrying statue, says to the critters who traveled thousands of light years to rescue earth. Remember the air conditioning was broken in the tower.

    Here is the alien message: This contact is from the loving presence from a far distant star system. It is the unconditional love of super conscious caretakers whose very existence is almost Godlike in scope. The upgrade of the GOD WORDS is elicited from the Mouths of an Extra-Cosmic Pan-Galactic Super-Species.

The response: The sticky-sweating New Yak-ah from a nearby swamp in the city of Concha- a- hawk- Inn   conveys this communication to the probable  saviors of the almost ruined 21'th  Century...  
            This is it -   This is exactly what the man in the tower said…             
         1.   Look he-ah mutt-a-fuck-a, you beta get the fack out of ma fuck-an scope.
          2.  Yea... you, mutt-a fuck-a..., get lost.
           Nonplussed the Diasians decided to land and take their chances. Remember -   The Diasians were extremely determined to help the ill-fated and tactless and barbaric mosquito riddled and hateful Earth Creatures.
       Accordingly-------- The first place they landed was a Berth-Nest called.
            Belleview  - Mental Asylum Home for the Tragically Insane.
          
    They had not encountered any symptoms of mental aberrations within their own race in more than 5000 years.   So, they possessed no plausible comprehension about mental aberration.

    Because The Diasians were always prepared; their space ship was equipped with its own form of “Bright Creature Finder ".  IE: The searchlight for intelligent life in the universe. They carried an instrument designated   (B.L.B.)........... It detected the most Wide OPEN Brains, or Minds. They wanted to convey this valuable earth-saving information to the most (Open Minded) Earth creatures....Open brained, maybe... because the exact translation is unknown.
          The (B.L.B.) Detector had never failed to spot the most likely place to disperse their beautiful messages. However, Belleview seemed a little (off) in some way... Nevertheless, on their Brain Lightness - Brightness Scope many of the residents in Belleview were impetuously brain blazing away.
    Yea... Right off the (Red Line) in the B.L.B. scope. Much more blazing than in a nearby place called Wall Street. Far more blazing indeed, than another nearly dark and dormant place called Madison Avenue.

            Bellevue seemed perfect.......
    But the Finger of Fate is a rude finger indeed.
       She may be firmly stuck in the great valley of lost fortunes and misplaced size measuring devices.
    Perhaps it was the new prototype space ship, but somehow the Diasians had mis-calculated, or had not calculated at all, because they trusted the Prototype Space Ship.
    BUT - This error was beyond any ration of modest mis-calculation.
    The Diasians Thinking Machine had misfired in some procedural sense to understand the concept of relative physical size, or the obvious substantial differences between Earth People and the Diasians. Their calculations of exactly how (large) the Earth Creatures were was grossly inaccurate. They were astonished when they realized their (Gigantic Space Ship) was about the size of a medium sized glass of milk, when viewed in Earth People Size.
             However, even this profound irritation did not plague them because their Space Ship was capable of extremely fast maneuvers. And they could easily out run the behemoth earth creatures with easy grace!
    So...With great passionate resolve. The Five Diasians landed their Space Ship in a room filled with gigantic humans. The human creatures were perfect. They were all doing whatever it is that humans do when they are hanging around like Lounge Lizards in THE Insane Asylum in... New Yak, New Yak. 
    Yes, the Human Creatures were regulated, and surrendered, and Un-blind enough to live in Belleview Mental Home for the Tragically Insane.  Many of them actually were hallucinating just brightly enough to extrapolate some understanding with the intentions of this Extra Terrestrial, and Pan Galactic Crossing of the Deep Voids.

But, as the fates would have it, in reality, their space ship was shaped like a giant cylinder or a huge water-tank. Maybe - like a Sports Arena because, relatively speaking, it seemed about that large.
         Additionally, because of its unique design, it was completely open on one end.
        Because of this open ended design it was capable of superior deceleration consequence, and shape distortion effect while in any form of Bio-Atmosphere.  All of these features made their Space Ship execute maneuvers that would seem like magic to anyone from Earth or thousands of other places as well. To the Diasians it was a GREAT WORKER because of the Ship’s-NOVEL Shape…
    Regardless...
           The “Drive unit” for the Spacecraft is enclosed within the open-end of the Cylinder Shaped Pan Galactic Flying Device. OR - it is the ENGINE, and it is located in the (for want of a better word) CUP. Not a saucer.... No this is not the friggin joke.

       Anyway... The ship looked like a (Giant Cup)...
    OK. Pun. 

The Diasians built this Flying Cup, not me. It looked remarkably like a strange little dice cup and loaded in the cup were the flopping dice shaped Diasians better known as an accident waiting to happen. 
    At that time they were flopping around on the medium sized card table communicating as best they could about a cure cancer and procuring free limitless energy. They screamed and yelled and hooted and hollered
            and jumped
            and flopped , and rolled
       and spun and even threw themselves
        on top of one another and became stacked.......  stacked Diasians

Suddenly an earth person named Karl slammed the whole fackin mess down on the table. Horse on yah he bellowed!
                     
He peeked at the (Bio- slop) that was under his (strangely squashed) dice- cup, and pulled his drooling lips back a few inches and said.

       1. What da fuck is that “awe- full " smell.   (smea - awl )

       2. Hist on Ewe.. Caul...says... (Horse on you)
            That would have been just fine.  However, the squashed mess in Karl's hand was lost to all accounts.  Karl looked over at Mack and then said this.

    Which one ah you Fuck-ah's. " Faa- ted ".

    As usual, most of the Bellevue-ians just ignored the landing.  It was as old as Hat... Like the Hat that landed last week. The same Flying-Hat. Yea ---- the one with Dr Seuss and his funny Cat in the Hat.
That Cat would not co---operate “E - tha ".  (Either)