Evil Inside

“Help.”

            What’s that noise?

“Help! Someone please help me!”

            I look around through the foggy air, but I can’t see anyone.

“HELP! HELP!”

            This time I feel my feet running. I’m running towards the noise. I feel like I have a mission to fulfill.

            The cries are getting louder, but still there’s no one to be found. I guess I got tired because I stopped running. I’m facing towards a window. There is a girl on the other side of the glass. With long black hair and blue eyes that look like they are searching for something. At least that’s what it looks like until I notice that that is my reflection.

“Help.”

            My mouth in the mirror moved, but I didn’t truly say anything.

“Please help me.”

            She doesn’t look like me anymore. In a way she has changed to someone else, yet it’s only a small difference.

“You want to help me don’t you?”

            I’m hesitant to reply to her.

“I don’t know.” Is all I can mutter.

            She starts screaming in a way that makes you cringe. Her whole body starts to shake has the already different image turns even worse. And then it stops. She looks dark, kind of scary. She gives me this horrid smile.

“You should have HELPED ME!”

            She starts reaching through the mirror towards.

            I wake up screaming covered in sweat has my heart tries to beat out of my chest. None of that felt like a dream. It all seemed to real to be.

            I get this horrible feeling in my stomach and have to run to the bathroom. I make it to the porcelain toilet just in time for my sudden sickness. Clutching the counter in order to pick myself up, I get a look in the mirror. With the dim light shining on me I check out every feature. Everything’s fine.

“Thank God that was just a dream.” I let out a deep breath that I didn’t know I was holding in.

            I try unsuccessfully to stifle my yawn on my way back to my bed. Has I sit down, I stare at the alarm clock. 3:04 is what it read in bright red letters. I can’t help, but be glad that I still have about 3 more hours to sleep. I lie back down and almost too quickly fall back into a deep sleep.

            This time when I enter my dream everything is dark. I can’t even see my own hand. Then a red light comes on and there she it. Her black hair dull, her eyes are dark and unkind, and her teeth dirty and broken. Her pale blue lips parted into a sinister smile. She looked dead almost, but she couldn’t be, could she?

            It was hard to remember that this is a dream and anything could happen. Has the air got chilly, I began to doubt if it was a dream. I could feel everything around me. I was terrified. I had real fear flowing through my body.

“You’re back.” She says in a haunting voice.

“Who are you?” I sounded stronger than I felt.

“I’m you.”

“You… You can’t be.”

“Oh, but I can. You see Clair I’m the you, you refuse to release. I’m the you that gives you those horrible thoughts. You refuse me and I fight even stronger. I’m the reason you try so hard to pretend to be fine. But I hold all of your dark little secrets. I could potentially ruin your life, but I won’t if you help me with something.”

I’m a scared of what she may say, but the curiosity took a hold of me. Her smile holds this wickedness that you don’t want to challenge.

“Help you with what?”

“Help free me Clair. Help release me through out not only your mind, but your whole entire life. I promise life will be so much better if you stop worrying about hiding me. It will feel better to not be living a lie wouldn’t it?”

“It would but…”

“But what? All you have to do is free me. Just give in to me. I’ll take care of the rest.”

            It’s so tempting. If I accept I wouldn’t be lying to anyone anymore, but I don’t then my life will continue to be hidden from the real world. If I accept this deal would it help me or would it actually ruin me?

“I… I can’t do that.”

            Her smile drops. She does the fake laugh that felt like nails digging into my skin.

“You’re not serious are you?”

“I am.” The words felt right. Everything else that has been happening hasn’t. And for once something felt right.

“I’m offering you what you’ve always wanted and you refuse to accept. I don’t know how much clearer I could have been when I said you could have freedom of the lies.”

“You were perfectly clear, but I’m not freeing you. I’m fine living how I am now.”

            She starts to scream in anger.

“Not a smart move on your part Clair!”

            Then she starts moving. Faster than anything I have seen before. It sort of distracted me for so long that I didn’t realize she was running towards me until I was slammed against the ground.

            With all the air knocked out of me, I’m trying to stand, but end up gaging instead.

“How is it possible to feel all this pain when this is a dream?”

            She’s standing in front of me with this red glare in her eyes.

“Anything is possible, especially in this type of situation.”

She kicks me back down so I’m fully lying on the floor. She starts pressing her shoe against my ribs until I start to hear them break. The moment she releases me I’m paralyzed in agony.

“Hurts doesn’t’ it. Just like being stuck in here does to me.” She waves her arms in the air to show me what she means. “Why couldn’t you just free me? Everything would have gone so much smoother if you just went along with me. But you couldn’t could you. You had to be the ‘good guy’, but let me tell you the good guy isn’t always right.”

            She starts to lift me up and look me in the eyes.

“You should have listened.” She throws me across the dark room into the wall.

I’m on the floor feeling something hot and sticky all around me. I realize that it was my blood gushing out of me. The world felt very distant all of a sudden. I knew I had to keep my mind clear. Then a thought occurred to me. With anything being possible in this dream why am I dying instead fighting back? This is my dream, this is my life. I can’t let my fears keep me from living. I have to win.

It’s like that awareness that I can have control healed me. All of the pain I felt moments before faded away. I felt strong and empowered. I start to stand up and immediately see the change in her eyes. She can tell that I finally know that I’m in control not her.

“You still won’t win. Good doesn’t always win.” She tries to hide her fear that has started to arise.

“Maybe it doesn’t always win, but good always puts up an amazing fight.”

I run towards her with speed and elegant that it almost surprises me. Almost. She starts to throw things like rocks and cars at me. (I guess I’m able to manifest things has well.) I dodge everything she throws at me, except this black table that hit me in the gut pretty hard. I was flying back, but caught myself in the midair. (Oh snap! I can fly!)

I smile at my new findings and fly right towards her. She starts to run away, but I’m faster. I finally catch her and she finally realizes that good just might win this time.

“Clair, put me down. We can talk about this, can’t we?” Her begging sounds really sincere, but after what I have witness I’m not taking any chances.

“I’m afraid you’re out of luck this time.”

            I imaging a dark hole appearing in the wall in front of me that will send her off into oblivion.

“Clair, please don’t do this. PLEASE!” I can see a tear running down her face. It kind of breaks my heart to see that she lost all the confidence she had before.

“Bye.” I throw her into the hole and all I hear is her screaming.

            I can’t handle hearing it anymore so I close the hole and wake up.

            I’m lying in my bed crying my eyes out. I have no idea why getting rid of the bad within me hurts so much. Maybe it’s because she has been a part of me for so long and without her I don’t know who I am. I know I’m better off, I can feel the relief of freedom rolling over me, but still it hurts to know I threw away some of my inner self.

            Good has won against evil, but it’s always good who has to pay the cost of living with knowing you have done evil to win. Everyone has some sort of evil within them and it’s always going to be with you. No matter you do it’s always going to be you who has done some evil to get what you want. It’s a cost you’ll have to live with and it hurts when you realize what you have done. Every day we have battle going on inside our heads. The monsters don’t live under our beds they live in our heads.