Fresh wounds- a tale of faded love

I remember like it was yesterday

We rode on a bus for 15hrs but it felt like it was for only 15min
I never wanted it to end.
As i glanced in your eyes whilst you lay ur head down on my lap
I could sense the amuse of a life's joy rendering in your heart
I pondered upon reaching your arms for an exotic touch of massage
Soon our Destiny's depart miles to miles
And i shall only remember you by your smile's fade
The scent of your brown winter jacket that goes just above your knees
Scheming from your greenish sneakers all the way up your thirsty pinky lips
I still recall the words you told me as you held me safe with your masculine arms
I forgot all my troubles that night
All that mattered was only you and your presence
Even the outside world tactics didn't bother me one bit as we rode into our thought to be adventure
Just the way you held me, safe and free
The way you walk and the way you talk to me
It's not of this world. Exceptional
I never felt so unburdened and reigned
I hated how much simple more I fell for you
It was instant and insanely magical
Watching you leave crushed my soul into a million granules
But as i saw you run back to comfort me
With a kiss on my forehead that day
Oh sweet thing
How can i forget
This memories i will take care of even in a miles call
I  know you left that day and it was the end of our uncensored paradise
Either way, near or amis I'll never forget you
Even though our love was never assured and i couldn't love myself enough to accept you
I'll remember you always
I learnt to accept rejection the hard way
And i blame myself for being sick
For having no full functionality
To have no necessities for a man - i supposed
I blame myself for losing my life to the cruelty of a sickness that brought me nothing but disability
The scars it painted. The amputation of the unseen
All it left was just a hollow shell
But worry not-  it was never your fault
It is the cruelty of life i cannot summon
I thought it was gonna be easy to live it out
To move on
But it is still the same
All i think about is you
But alas ... i am not and will never be yours
Because everyday i see you
The wounds bleeds more
And the pain is unbearable