Girl Unknown

    “I am not who you think I am, I am not who you think I am.” I recited into the mirror. I have been through this before but this time it was harder. I found myself depressed again, not like the first time. This time is different. I am different and different is not good anymore. It is bad to be different. People look at you funny, and talk about you. As I am standing here looking into the mirror I realize I am not just looking at the mirror, I am trying to look in the mirror for answers. Answers to tell me how to be normal, answers to tell me how to be okay, answers to tell me how to tell my parents. I will never be able to forget the day I told my parents I was depressed. The look on their faces crushed me, it was a look of disgust and disappointment all wrapped in one. It is like receiving a teddy bear but realizing you got it because your grandmother died. You are disgusted and disappointed. Basically just lost. I will never forget the day these words came out of their mouths, “how could you do that to yourself?” Those seven words are constantly just running through my mind. I can never forget that. But now, to see myself here, looking into the same mirror I looked into last year when I hurt myself the first time. But this time it was different, this time it was about me not knowing who the real me is. I was looking into the mirror for answers, answers that would never be revealed. I was hopeless with no where else to go, except this mirror.