illusionary girl (*Tell me if I should finish writing this*)

The ground was cold, hard dirt that cracked parallel to the bleached sidewalks. A suburban neighborhood with private homes and sizable front yards passed by the side window of my car. The sky was fading into a smoky gray, and if not for the light pollution, hundreds of stars would be visible from the street in front of Kasey’s house. I parked my car down the road, because there was no room left. Unfortunately, I had chosen black stiletto boots, and the uneven asphalt tripped me several times on the way back up to the house. I wore a tube top, and ripped jeans, that left the harsh night’s air to seep into my skin.
As I made it to the manicured red of the front door, I could hear the contrast between the sounds of the white noise in the nighttime, and the screaming, laughing, and  music in the house. I stepped forward and turned the handle with decisiveness. I had debated whether to come, but my friends had convinced me; they said I needed to have some fun to get myself out of the slump I had let myself fall into. I guess they meant well, but logic told me that a roomful of wasted kids with sexual frustration would not fill the gap in my life. But there I was anyway; this is the moment that i’m realizing my desperation at that specific moment. I was so ready to throw myself in farther to a hole, that I showed up in the most provocative outfit (one my mother would never approve of), just to feel rebellious. I had subconsciously fantasized about dressing like a different person, laughing like someone new, being someone else for a night.
Well i’m obviously fucking stupid.
The house smelled like weed and it stung my throat.
The carpet was so clean and white, and I was suddenly consumed by the thought of someone dropping their drink; it was such a pure color, even in the dark. It’s honestly ridiculous that i was focused on this, when there was so much loud, abrasive noise. I felt hands on my waist and someone's hot breath, smelling of alcohol. My heart sped up and I stiffened and tried to get out of the embrace, but when i turned, I heard a giggle and realized it was my friend. She grabbed my hands and spun me around.
“SAMMY! You look hot tonight, I thought you wouldn’t show.”
“I’m here.” I laughed tensley. My friend had her eyes fiercely fixed on mine.
“Addy? You okay hun?” I asked, swinging her hands back and forth. She snapped out of her trance and kissed me on the cheek, “I’m so GLAD YOU CAME!” I laughed and gave her quick hug, but was becoming unsettled by her glazed behaviour. I was quite sure that she wasn't just drunk. But that was her business, she could handle herself. I watched Addy wander away and fall into some guy, who seemed pleased to have a pretty, smacked girl so close. I watched his eyes outline her body. He stared at Addy with greedy, selfish eyes, and Addy hunched over, with her shirt slipping past the top of her bra. She was giggling, but her eyes were blank.
She invited me to this party to have fun, not protect her from her own dumb choices. Guilt tugged at my conscious, but I took a deep breath and walked to the basement. Leaving Addy, wasted, in a roomful of people that she didn't know.
I was in the basement, a cup in my hand filled with some mix of liquor. The boy next to me, leaning against the counter had a rolex on and he turned his wrist slowly  to watch the kitchen light reflect and disperse into color. He seemed mesmerized, maybe high, maybe bored. But I remember thinking that it might be nice to have a guy with sandy-hair, with nice arms and a rolex watch hold me right now. I thought it might be the highlight of my life actually. In that moment, I truly felt like this was the most important thing. The. Most.
I downed the rest of my drink and coughed. My hair was glowing in curls around my head, I could see in the mirror next to me. I thought maybe I looked good enough right now. I walked over to the boy with the watch and leaned against the counter, waiting for him to look up. He did, and he seemed surprised. His expression brightened as he cleared his throat.
“Hey, I’m Gabe.”
“Samantha-or, uh Sam if you want.” I paused and looked at him
“If I want what?” he asked, a smile playing on his (really nice) lips. I blushed and laughed, annoyed that it sounded fake, but really wasn't.
“If you want to call me Sam, i mean, that’s alright. I wasn't implying anything, I just-” I hiccuped and his eyes lit up, it was beautiful. It was like his eyes became viridescent and exponentially expansive. I thought I could cry, because no one had ever looked at me with so much liveliness.
I must have been staring and grinning.
“You look so intimidating at first, but you have the most shocking personality. Your so easy to be around,” Gabe had said kindly.
“We’ve only been talking for a minute.”
“Feels like days.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or-?”
“It feels like days of an effervescent explosion,” he whispered. I nearly cried with laughter. He looked at me for a moment, before it dawned on him how stupid he sounded, and he joined in.
We laughed for minutes, or hours or days.
He held me and we both ended up on the wooden kitchen floor with a bowls of ice cream. Everyone moved around us in slow-motion. There was no need to dance or get high with him. I was so glad for that. We laughed and talked about food, and life, and school and family.
He was a junior, but he was suppose to be a senior; he stayed back in 2nd grade. He wanted to go to North Carolina University, He hated airplanes, but loved trains, he was great at juggling, and even better at soccer (said modestly of course). He hated it most when people lied to him, or acted in a way that didn't reflect them truly. When he said this I sucked in a breath and felt a pang of guilty. I wondered if it was wrong to pretend that I was a happy person, and not a depressed and anxious person with minimal motivation. But I didn't say anything, I just listened.
I started to ask about where he wanted to travel, when, even in my trance and focus on this wonderful boy, I heard a piercing scream- Addy’s. I got up abruptly, stumbling. I could vaguely hear Gabe urging me to calm down and tell him what happened. Because, no one in the room seemed to have noticed the scream. They looked at me puzzled, when I stumbled to the stairs with quick determination and low energy.
I felt Gabe’s hand enclose mine,and he pulled me into his arms. Not in a selfish way, but in a protecting way, which only made me more frustrated because I had to help Addy. How many minutes had passed since i’d hear the scream. I couldn’t be sure, but i could see the boy with the greedy eyes, holding her limp body. I fought against Gabe’s arms but he whispered and told me to calm down. He told me it would be okay. He kept saying these things until i couldn't fight and i relaxed against his cotton shirt and warm chest. I looked into his beautiful eyes, and I could see the deep concern characterizing his face. My throat was dry.
“Did you- did you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“That scream.” I whispered. His eyebrows were furrowed.
“It was so so loud. You couldn’t have missed it. It’s my friend Addy, I know what she sounds like.”
“There was no scream, Sam.” He said matter of factly.
“You don’t know that. Your drunk too. I bet everyone else did.” I looked desperately around, looking for a face that seemed concerned. Someone walked by and i grabbed the back of their shirt, they turned quickly.
“Did you hear the scream?” The person shook their head and shrugged out of my hold on them
“Did anyone?” I yelled
“Did anyone HEAR THE FUCKING SCREAM?” I couldn’t breath, everyone looked at me like I was crazy. My face burned. I  broke from Gabe’s arms and stumbled up the white carpet stairs and onto the first level. I was panting and my hair was wild, in my face. I looked around for Addy, the friend who wanted me to come, and who I left alone. I looked and I couldn't find her. I walked to the foyer and out the front door. A sense of vertigo clouded my mind, and I suddenly couldn’t remember where I was, or what I was doing. I opened the brass handled door and the cold air stung my skin. The night air was deafeningly silent, the sky had no stars, the ground was moving, my skin was burning. I screamed so loudly that two guys standing down the sidewalk paused and looked at me. I saw their face, they mocked me with their eyes. They came towards me, they looked angry. Their voices were foggy, “Hey, miss are you okay?” the red-haired one said, he put his hand on my arm, and his fingers felt like ice.
“Get the fuck off of me, right now!” I screamed. He threw me into the door and held me down, “GET OFF NOW GET OFF.” I sobbed. The world doubled, and the trees moved in my vision. My heart was beating so rapidly, it felt like it wasn’t part of me. I was a lifeless corpse, a puppet. The guys in front of me were pale, they looked fearful. They were standing so far away from me. The red-haired one wasn't on me, he wasn’t touching me, it didn't happen. I was on the ground panting, tears had ruined my dark makeup. I was crazy. I looked at them, they were whispering to each other. The other guy, took a tentative step towards me, looking afraid of me.
“You tripping right now?”
“What?” I stuttered
“On LSD? You started screaming and you were talking to someone who wasn’t really there. You freaked us out, Mate. You need an Uber or something?”
I blinked and looked at him. Maybe I was, but I felt like things were starting to be normal again. Maybe it was Gabe. He spiked my drink, and pretended not to know. Maybe that’s why no one else heard the scream. LSD is a hallucinogen. It must be that.
I felt sick suddenly and leaned forward, but nothing happened. I just felt nauseous. I could finally speak, “I think I must be. I’m so sorry to scare you. I have to go home, i’ll just drive.”
They looked at eachother. The one with jet-black hair and olive skin spoke, “I think maybe you should get a ride.” he hesitated, “Here, my name’s Antonio, and this is Johnny, We’ll drive you home.” I looked at them, and they didn’t look like they wanted to hurt me, they looked concerned. I nodded my head slowly like a child after a melt-down, being consoled.
“Let me tell my friend that i’m leaving. I’ll be back in a minute.” They nodded, and I walked back inside. As soon as I walked into the living-room, I saw Gabe. When we made eye contact, he jumped up from the couch, and took my hands, but I pulled away. His brow furrowed, “Hey, are you alright Sam?”
“You tell me Gabe,” I countered.
“What are you talking about?”
“You laced my drink with LSD, i’m not stupid, you dick.” I said exasperatedly. My head was still spinning and I was dazed, but I mostly kept my composure.
Gabe jerked back incredulously,“Are you fucking joking? I would never do that. I’ve never even done that shit. I wouldn’t even know where to get it!”
“I don’t really care. I can’t trust anything you say.”
“No this is bullshit, I was starting to really like you Sam. Is this because of the scream you heard?” His voice pleaded, I could hear the strain in it. He didn’t look guilty, he looked concerned and confused. I suddenly wasn't sure anymore. I wasn't sure why I accused him of something so serious without knowing anything at all.
“Uh, I- well, I don’t know. I’m not sure what’s going on right now.” I looked into his deeply concerned  eyes, and knew that it wasn’t him. My body relaxed. I stepped forward and opened my mouth to speak. I could tell he noticed the change in my demeanor
“I am so sorry. I don't know why I said that. I’m just- I-,” my voice cracked and my whole body shuddered into a sob. “ I can’t believe I accused you of-” He wrapped his arms around me and I shook with sobs. I didn't understand how he was so forgiving and understanding.
“Sam, we haven’t known each other for very long, it’s okay that you thought it was me”
“Why do I feel so connected to you, if we hardly know each other. We only talked for three hours.”
‘“It was a good three hours.” he said smiling sadly. I couldn’t understand why he felt the way he did about me. But, he looked worried again.
“Do you still feel high off of it though?” He asked.
“Not really, it only lasted a few minutes.” I said quietly, imagining the things that I had thought I saw.
He smoothed my hair and tilted his head back so he could look at me. “Sam, I know that you’re scared. But your also tired and drunk. Well, I-,” he smiled a little bit. It was adorable and and I held him closer.
“Sam, I want to stay with you. There's something about you, you’re so different. But, tonight needs to be over for you. I care about you too much.” Gabe whispered. It was cliche, but in that moment I clung to his words.
“Can you take me home?”
“I’m drunk, I’m gonna Uber.”
“My mom thinks i’m sleeping over Addy’s house, so I can’t go home like this.”
He hesitated, “Addy went home with Victor an hour ago.” I blinked and sighed.
“Can I go home with you?” I asked quietly. He looked a little bit surprised but then his face relaxed. “Sure, but just to sleep right?”
“Right.”
He held me as we walked outside. I had forgotten about getting a ride from Johnny and Antonio, but apparently they had too, because they were both in their cars, with a girl draped around them.
Gabe and I stood close together in the chilly air, waiting for the car to pull up. His Hand was on the small of my back, and I looked up at him, he smiled beautifully. The black car pulled up, headlights disrupting the dark. Gabe held my door open for me, and we sat together. The uber driver played latino music, and Gabe quietly sang along, surprising me. He saw my face, and laughed. “My mother’s from Puerto Rico.” I smiled. I looked out of the tinted windows, but all I could see were floating lights whizz by like fireflies. My eyelids feel heavy and I leaned against the cool glass, giving into sleep.
I’m not sure how long the car-ride was, but I felt Gabe’s hand squeeze mine softly.
“We’re here Sam.”
I rubbed my eyes, and let him guide me out of the car and up his driveway. Once I was awake enough, I saw his house. It was huge. Beautiful contemporary house, seemingly isolated from other houses. We walked through the front door, and he put in a code to get past yet another door.
“Wow,” I said looking at the high ceilings and coordinated colors everywhere. Dark wooden floors, and ornate area rugs spread out on the floor. He brought me to a white couch and walked to the kitchen. I could see through a window in front of the sink, he opened drawers and cabinets, turning on the coffee maker. He filled a glass of water, and poured two bowls of frosted flakes. When his coffee was ready, he put everything on a tray and walked back to the living room.
“I’m not sure if you’re hungry, but here’s some cereal.” he handed me the bowl and the water. “ And please drink the whole glass, you’ll feel better tomorrow if you have more water.”
He sat next to me in silence while I drank the water. I was embarrassed to be gulping it, but he looked relieved to see me drinking something other than alcohol. I took a bite of the flakes, and realized that I was in fact, extremely hungry. He started eating too and we both finished our bowls in under two minutes. He reached for his coffee.
‘Why are you drinking coffee so late.” i asked. He looked down embarrassed and cleared his throat. “Oh, um I just want to stay up so I can make sure you're okay if you need anything.”
He looked up and I smiled at him, I couldn't help it. He broke into a smile and we stared at each other grinning for more time than is socially acceptable, i’m sure. I looked down, still smiling and took his hand.
“I’m gonna try to go to sleep, okay?”
“Yeah that’s good. I’ll take you to the guest room.”
“I can just sleep here.” I offered. He laughed, “Of course not, you’ll be way more comfortable on a real bed.” He helped me up, and we walked up the white carpeted stairs. Dim lights, automatically turned on when we got upstairs. There were multiple hallways going in different directions, but he went straight and took me to a room with a blue door. I was awake enough to admire how beautiful the room was.
“This room is gorgeous, Gabe.”
He furrowed his brow and shrugged, “Mm, thanks, I feel like it’s too steril though. Like my house has no life.”
I didn't get what he meant. I walked into the room. The ground was plush blue carpet and, the bay window opened up to a view of his backyard: a extensive stretch of land that had a pool and hot tub surrounded by grey stone. Even in the cold, there were somehow colorful plants growing. Regardless of what he said, his backyard was vibrant at least.
He opened a dresser and waved me over, “ Here are some extra clothes that my sister doesn’t wear anymore. And-” he pointed to the bathroom that was attached. “There are towels and shampoo and stuff like that if you want to shower.” he paused and looked at me. I nodded gratefully. “I think I’ll do that, I smell like alcohol and weed,” I laughed.
His dimples deepened in a smirk. He slowly walked  to the door, as if he wanted me to tell him to stay. I did want him to, but I knew that if I asked him to he would refuse and say I needed rest, regardless of what he wanted.
“My room is right across the hall, so knock if you need anything. My mom will be home tomorrow night just so you know. I’ll be up for a bit so don’t worry about making noise.”
“Okay, Goodnight Gabe.”
“Goodnight Sam.”
He closed the door behind him and I could finally take off my clothes. I smelled my shirt, it really did smell like weed. I peeled off my jeans and unstrapped my heels. I went into the bathroom (Super nice by the way), and wrapped a soft towel around me. I leaned over the shower nozzle and turned it, but it wouldn’t move. I tried a few more times, but was afraid to break a shower, probably worth more than my car.
Three minutes later, i was too frustrated to figure out the shower, but I didn't want to bother Gabe after all he’d done. I tried again, but with all of the force I put behind the twist of my hand, I lost my grip on the handle and hit my hand against the hard tile, with so much force that  I let out a yelp. I covered my mouth and shook my hand, hoping to relieve the pain.
I heard the sound of my door opening and Gabe ran in through the open bathroom door.  He looked worried. With adrenaline prevalent in his voice he looked at my hand. At this point, my finger nails were bleeding a little bit. Gabe came over to me, and grabbed my hand, “What happened?”
I was abashed, just wearing a towel, feeling like I had overreacted.
“Oh, i’m sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I couldn't figure out how to turn on the stupid shower. I hit my hand, that’s all.” His shoulders visibly relaxed. When he realized how close his body was to mine, he took a step back. My shape was visible in the thin towel. His eyes looked me up and down, but he looked away quickly. He walked toward the shower. “Okay, so all you have to do is tap the surface of this panel. The handle is just for decoration.” he said. I wrinkled my nose. “I know, it’s stupid right.” he said rolling his eyes
He turned it on for me and looked at me.
We stared at each other. The tension in the air was thick. I could see his chest rising and falling. I took a step towards him, and he waited, with uncertainty, until he closed the gap between us.
His body was pressed against mine and our lips touched, but we still stared into each other's eyes. I looked up into his ocean eyes, vibrant and full of life. I touched his face and whispered uncertaintly, “Will we still be this way after tonight?”
He brushed away the tear the fell down my cheek, and looked into my eyes so intensely I could feel the ocean waves in his.
“I have never met someone who makes me feel this way, Samantha.” he said so quietly, I almost didn't here him. And then his lips parted and he pressed them to mine. We moved in rhythmic water. We were so close. His lips never left mine, as his hands moved to my waist and he held me. He tasted like alcohol, but so did I. I felt my vision become the clearest it had all night, all week, all of my life
I was breathing heavily with anticipation, but he pulled away. He looked hesitant, but said, “I don’t want to take advantage of you.’
My voice came out high, “No, of course you’re not.”
“You’re not sober, and you’re vulnerable. Tonight’s been so hard for you. You broke down earlier and I couldn't live with myself, if you woke up and regretted this.” I was about to argue, because I wanted this so badly, but I didn’t because I knew he might be right. I knew how I felt about him would still be the same when I was sober, but I didn’t  want to give a part of me away when I was wasted. I sighed and took his hands.
“Okay fine Gabe, but i’m not tired anymore so we have to do something.” I smiled kindly, but I could feel how disappointed we both were. I didn’t believe that we had just met. He grinned.
“I’m still hungry.” I said and he nodded in agreement.
“Let’s make pancakes!” I suggested.
“It’s, uh 3:36?” He said chuckling. I rolled my eyes, “Considering everything, I think the most normal thing we could do tonight is make pancakes.”
“You mean this morning, not tonight.” He corrected. I raised my eyebrow, “Gabe I swear if you’re a fucking smartass this can’t work.”
“Hey, i’m joking, I promise.” He said defensively. I laughed,“I’m joking too, relax.”
He snorted, “You’re a dick.”
When we paused, we both realized that i was still wearing a towel, and the shower was still running. He grinned sheepishly, “I’m gonna go. Come to my room when you’re done.” He closed the door behind him, taking a last glanced at me leaning against the wall.
I showered, feeling the grime of the party wash away, and lavender soap scrubbing my skin smooth. I practically tried every hair product for fun, taking a 20 minute shower, which was much longer than I was allowed to take at home. My hair was saturated with suds and bubbles and and squeezed it out with hot water and stood in the shower, with my forehead against the wall. I tried to enjoy the luxurious feeling of soft, expensive soaps, but every time I closed my eyes I saw myself on the ground. Someone holding me down, someone screaming, blood all over the pavement. I shuddered and opened my eyes. I was fine. Obviously, I was fine.
I tapped the shower again, and dried myself off. When I opened the door, the cooler air from my room came in, feeling refreshing in comparison to the sauna I had basically made in the bathroom. I opened the drawers of clothes and found a pretty lacy bra, and underwear (not that anyone would see them). I put those on, and found a soft cream colored t-shirt and black silk pajama pants. I don’t think that I had ever felt that comfortable. I layed on the bed for a second, and stared at the ceiling. I thought of how lucky I felt and grinned
\, feeling like this was one of the best feelings in the world.
The horrifying images in my head were pushed away for now, and I could focus on the present. I walked to his room. When he opened it, I was surprised to see his room filled with photographs all over the walls. There was a literal fire place in his room, roaring and radiating heat. His sheets and bedding was all messed up, spilling off of the bed. He had an impressive amount of ramen noodle packages on his dresser. It was mildly messy, but mine was always worse. I just couldn't imagine him not being perfect, but i was glad that he at least had some flaws, so I wouldn't feel like the loser.
He saw me looking around and he turned red. “Sorry, I know it’s messy as hell, but when my mom leaves on business trips, I can actually relax a bit.” He laughed.  I assured him that it was nowhere near as bad as mine and I didn’t mind.
“I’m sorry for taking such a long shower, I got a little carried away.”
“You’re joking right? I was about to say that you take really short showers. Normally, mine are at least 40 minutes.” Gabe said throwing away the trash on his dresser.
“That’s insane man,” I mused. “But, wow you’re parents must be hella rich.”
I gasped, “Wow that was so rude, i’m sorry.” Luckily Gabe took no offense, and obviously found it amusing.
“Yeah, I guess they are. I sort of wish we weren’t though.”
“Huh, sure…” I snorted
“No really! I feel like I never have to work for anything. Not college, not a job, not getting a house, nothing.” he genuinely seemed to want me to understand, and I sort of did.
“I mean my family isn’t poor, but we’re in a bit of debt.” I said. He looked shocked.
“Debt! That’s awful, i’m so sorry.”  I looked at him trying to decide if he was serious. When I could see that he was, I burst out laughing. He looked confused. When I composed myself I said, “Gabe. like at least 70% of people are in debt. It’s not that big of a deal. If you buy a $500,000 house, most people can’t just pay out of pocket, so then you’re in mortgage debt to the bank.” He still looked confused, but mildly impressed with this information.
“You know, you’re obviously smart, but I guess sometimes your privilege get’s in the way of your intellect.” I looked at him, and when he looked offended, I started laughing again. His eyes softened and he playfully pushed my shoulder, “I can’t believe you went there Sam. Honestly, so surprised that you could be so mean” I narrowed my eyes at him and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.
The rest of the night, we spent cooking pancakes. He didn’t know how to make them. So I taught him and we listened to 80’s rock. I stood over the pan and flipped the perfect golden pancake. He left the kitchen, before I could ask him where he was going. He came back with a camera, beaming at me. I shook my head and laughed. He held it up as I poured more batter onto the pan. He snapped a picture of me, with flash illuminating the soft-lighting of the kitchen. I laughed, covering my face.
“Stop Gabe! I’m not wearing any makeup.”
He took another picture, while I glared at him jokingly. He paused and looked at me.
“I think you look even more beautiful now, then when I first saw you at the party.”
“Ugh stop lying.” I smiled. “That was so fucking cliche by the way.”
He tilted his head in thought, “Well, Sam. tell me why then it’s a cliche in the first place. Maybe guys say it a lot, because it’s very true. Someone else might have said those words before, but it doesnt change how true they are.”
I rolled my eyes, but he might have had a point. He took another picture of me smiling, and showed it to me. I looked so happy, like actually happy for once. And I looked pretty too. Like I never looked good in pictures, but I was also never really happy in them. He was silent as I stared at the picture. I looked up and saw him staring at me.
“What?” i asked
“I just can’t believe how lucky I am.”
No guy had ever made me feel so beautiful and alive. No guy had ever given me such a perfect night.
For the rest of the night we ate pancakes and talked. When we both couldn't stay awake any longer, He lead me upstairs and helped me get in bed. I smiled as he kissed my forehead. It gave me chills, but the good kind. I could feel that he was still there as I fell asleep. When darkness filled my head I could see Gabe holding me, I was dreaming. I felt so lucky to have him, but then his eyes turned cold and he pulled out a knife. It was serrated at the edges and he plunged it into my chest, before I could scream.There was blood everywhere and he was smiling. I started breathing heavily and I heard Addy scream. I was back at the party, trapped in my car. Someone locked me in. The car moved down the road, getting faster. The trees moved with the car. The sky turned into the ocean and I could see inside of the house from the car. Every time someone spoke, all I could hear were screams. I panted and the car moved faster, until Gabe’s house was right in front of me. He stood in front of it, with Addy. The car wouldn’t stop. I told them to move, but they didn’t hear me. The car started burning, my skin was ice though. It didn't stop, and it was on fire. I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact. I crashed into them. I saw blood splatter on the windshield. Screaming, and then everything went black again.
My eyes opened suddenly and I covered my mouth to stop the scream that burned in my throat. My heart was beating quickly. Gabe wasn't next to me, but when I looked up, he was about to open the door and leave. He didn't know that I Woken up.
“Wait.” I said. He was startled and he turned around.
“Can you stay?” I asked. He was about to say he couldn’t, I could tell. Before he could open his mouth I spoke.
“Please, I need someone right now.” He nodded and walked over to me in the dark. The moonlight was spilling through the window pain. I could see it drip onto the comforter. It was liquid silver, and I reached my hand out to touch it, as he came onto the bed. He lifted the covers and lay behind me. He put his arms around my middle, and the back of my head was on his warm chest. I could feel his steady breathing and heart-beat through his grey t-shirt.
My eyes were still closed, but i could see the opaque red of the inside of my eyelids, an indication that the sun was finally up. I could still feel Gabe’s arms around me. I think we had been so tired, neither one of us had moved at all during the night. I felt his arms flex, as he stretched, waking up. I yawned and he laughed, probably happy that last night was actually real.
“Good Morning Sam.”
I smiled, finally able to open my eyes. The room was on fire. I shot up. There was smoke suffocating me. The heat came from the sun, it was getting bigger, or maybe moving closer to the Earth. I could see it’s firey gaseous rays exploding and expanding. The room smelled like gasoline and my nose was burning. I screamed and pointed to the window. Gabe wasn’t reacting, he must have been in shock. The window shattered from too much heat and pressure. My skin was on fire, I sobbed in ragged vociferation.
“HELP GABE! I CAN’T BREATH. THE SUN IS GETTING CLOSER, IT SMELLS SO BAD,” I shrieked. Gabe grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward him. I knew I was about to die- both of us were. His face was covered in perplexity and then fear when i wouldnt stop trembling and screaming. I thought he finally saw the danger, but he pushed me away and got up. He left the room and closed the door quickly. I realized I would die alone and he had left me. He had abandoned me. My body buckled in anguish, and my skin was blistering  from the sun. Quickly, I threw the covers over me and closed my eyes hoping it would go away. I was shaking and crying between my screams. And then I shut my eyes harder, until the picture of the sun was no longer imprinted into my eyes.
The smell of gas went away. The air grew colder, but my skin was still hot to the touch.  When I lifted the covers up, the window was intact. The sun was far away, and nothing was wrong. My breathing slowed, and I lay down again, exhausted.
I heard a loud knock on my door, and Gabe walked in. He looked angry and apprehensive, holding a jacket out to me as he approached.
“Why don’t you go home Sam.”