Johnny The Paperboy and the Maximum Man.

 Johnny the paperboy rose from the bed.

"Rising this early isn't good for my head.I

'm tired at school, my baseball is worse,

why the flyball I missed yesterday hit my dad (who cursed).

But getting up early gets me things that I like,

money to spend on a boat, or a bike!

Or maybe I'll buy a go-cart to ride,

or maybe a surfboard with three scags," he sighed.

So off Johnny went, papers flew this way and that,

maybe (he thought) a big cowboy hat?

He rounded the corner and went down the street,

maybe some Reeboks to wear on my feet?

He went round the corner of Johnson and Vine,

"Gosh!" "Look at that house what a wonderful find!" 

The house was enormous, the trees were all tall.

"Why golly, said Johnny, the yard is as big as a mall!"

The money, thought Johnny, the this took,

this guy must be rich, (or maybe a crook). 

Maybe he'll buy a paper or two,

maybe a magazine all about the zoo.

Johnny stopped his route and parked his bike;

he walked to the door (a tiring hike).

He knocked on the door and rang the big bell,

"WHO'S THERE AT THE DOOR?"

Johnny heard the Maximum Man yell.

The Maximum Man came to the door.

"WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?" he said in a roar.

"My name is Johnny and its readables I sell,

papers and magazines to make your brain swell!"

"STUFF TO READ?" glowered the Maximum Man,

THAT STUFF IS BEST PUT IN THE NEAREST TRASH CAN.

THE PRINT I SEEK IS CRISPY AND GREEN,

PILES AND PILES TO KEEP UP MY DREAM.

WITH CARS AND BOATS AND A HOUSE THAT'S A CASTLE,

READING THESE THINGS WOULD BE A BIG HASSLE.

WHY LOOK AT MY WIFE, (he'd pulled her along),

SHE TAKES HER BIG CAR AND SHOPS ALL DAY LONG.

IT'S MONEY I NEED FOR THE TOYS THAT I BUY,

KNOWLEDGE FROM READING IS JUST PIE IN THE SKY."

"But" sputtered Johnny, "the things that you read,

Of people, and places and things grown from seeds.

And mountains so tall, and canyons quite deep,

of Lions, and Zebras, and New Zealand Sheep."

"EEK!" screeched Maxi's wife, "Those things are unclean!

You can't put a Giraffes in a washing machine!

My love, my sweet, make this boy go away,

This talk of bugs and dirt will ruin my day!"

"YOU'RE RIGHT, SO RIGHT, " said Max to his sweet.

"NOW RUN ALONG AND FIX T.V. TREATS,

GET ME SOME PATE THAT'S MADE FROM GOOSE LIVERS,

AND YOU AND I WILL GO WATCH JOAN RIVERS."

"NOW LEAVE!" the Maximum Man screamed at Johnny,

"GO AWAY RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL CALL YOUR MOMMY!"

So Johnny walked back (another long hike),

and as he was walking, he looked at his bike.

Why, thought Johnny, I've been really dumb.

The bike that I have is paid for, and fun!

Working sometimes for things that I need

is good to a point, but not when its greed.

So Johnny rode home and he felt very glad

for time to read, time to dream,

and play catch with his dad.