Just Another Night in the City of Angels

Just Another Night in The City of Angels"

By Jake Cosmos Aller

     Sam Adams worked in the U.S. Embassy in Bangkok, Thailand, as a consular officer. His main duty was helping Americans (AMCITS in the trade) who got into trouble.  And in Bangkok, the city of Angels, AMCITS, particularly middle aged males, were always getting into trouble, “Capital T Trouble” as Bangkok attracted the down and out and looser flotsam American male like a lamp attracts moths - just could not keep them away.

     After about a year of such duty, Sam was pretty cynical, thought he had seen it all.  After all, he was the veteran now of at least 40 deaths, and at least as many arrests.  Most of the deaths were routine - traffic accidents being the number one killer of unwary drunken Americans.   But, every so often, a big old messy mysterious death case arrived on the Embassy doorstep.

     Usually the police called up reporting they had found a dead American in a hotel room who had died from a drug overdose or too much alcohol or a heart attack after a sexual liaison with a "Khatoey".  The "Khatoey" were infamous throughout Asia. 

The story goes - the most beautiful drop dead gorgeous women working the Go Go bar scene were depending on one’s view, not quite 100 percent women.  The Thai term technically meant "third sex" and referred to people of confused gender - ranging from homosexuals, to "Tran gendered" people in all sorts of stages of sex changes.  They shared one thing though beside their great beauty - they were dangerous as hell when they got angry - and they got angry whenever a customer refused to pay them for service rendered.  The cops generally also took the view – “you pay for service rendered”.  

And the cops were not particularly sympatric to foreigners who ran a fowl of the “Khatoey”.  Many of whom were friendly to the cops, providing free services and always passing on the latest gossip and intel.

The cops always had a ready market in such intel stories – they sold it to the highest bidder among the corporate spooks and intel ghosts that haunted Bangkok, which was in its own way the Casablanca of Southeast Asia – where the world’s spooks went to work in their endless spy vs. spy games.  And the local cops all got a piece of the action and their spook masters knew it. 

The US station was particularly adept at paying for info and in fact they ran a few underground clubs with the help of the local cops.  Sam was friends with all the local agency spooks and could be found most nights at the local hangout in Soi Cowboy.  Soi Cowboy had started out in the tail end of the Vietnam war when GI’s flocked to Bangkok making Bangkok the undisputed sex capitol of Asia.  In many ways it still was although the local government had cracked down hard and it just was not as openly sleazy as it used to be back in the day.  The old geezer American Viet Vets had mostly faded away from the scene – just could not keep it up.  But there were always more coming to the scene to keep it jumping 24/7.

Unfortunately, some of the American and other faring gentlemen did not understand the code of the Khatoey and their enforcers among the police establishment – all of who took a kick back from the Khatoey who were performing technically illegal services.  The Americans would protest that they had thought that they had been victimized or defrauded when the lady of the night turned out to be not 100 percent a woman.  These misunderstandings often lead to death as the spurned pissed off dangerous drunk and drug crazed “Khatoey” would cut off a particular body part and “give it to the ducks to eat” as the Thais so elegantly put it.  The drug of choice was “Bai yah - crazy drug” or street crank, which was quite cheap and readily available along with street heroin and of course the ever present Singh beeru and Mekong whisky (rum) which they drank 24/7.

In any event the combination of street drugs, alcohol, and two or three beautiful sexually available half women usually proved too much to handle for the middle age white men who flocked to Thailand for a final fling before death took its toll.  Many never made it back to where ever they came from and became Sam’s problem in the end.

     When Sam first heard of the mysterious death of John Sam Washington, he thought “Just another drunken middle age man cheating on his wife while on a sex tourist stop in Bangkok."  Sam by now had “the call to the wife call” down pat - he always diplomatically steered away from the cause of death and refused to confirm the presence of another lady or pseudo lady as the case might be as a proximate cause of death.  Just no point to it - after the entire guy was dead and the adultery died with him, Sam thought.

     This particular case, though, was weirder than most.  Customers in Soi Cowboy reported that they had seen John S. Washington with a particular khatoey that night.  John was described as being about 50, with a slight beer belly. The khatoey in question, Kuhn Leek, was described as a drop dead gorgeous women with world class boobs and an ass to die for.  The regulars knew she was a khatoey and had a reputation for being vicious and wild in bed.   She usually told her victim that she was majoring in sexual technology and studying to be a sex robot trainer and had tricks to teach the victim. The police invited Sam to join in the interrogation in progress.

     Sam arrived at the local police substation at 3 in the morning – the time when the best cases came to light.  Sam was well known to the local cops and was friends with them all.  They would frequently drink all night and regale Sam with the latest gossip and tales out of school which Sam would pass on to his agency friends the next day with the permission of course of the local cops who all loved playing their part in the endless spy vs. spy games in Thailand’s capitol.

     The Sergeant in charge, Kuhn Dang, took Sam aside when he arrived and said, "You are not going to believe this, Kuhn Sam, but there is something very strange about this case.  You see we found the deceased covered with green blood.  Kuhn Lek had been seen with him just moments before he was found screaming in his hotel room.    The folks next door said he was screaming "Get her off of me.  She is a monster from another planet." 

When they ran in the door she was seen getting dressed but he was all cut up in little pieces as if some animal had taken a bite out of him.   And his cock was bit off.  She claimed that she walked into the room to have sex with him and saw him there - dead and saw a monstrous creature on top of him.  The creature took one look at her and flew out the window into the night carrying away Mr. Washington's cock."

     Sam, of course, did not believe this poppycock, thought it was just another one of the urban legends floating about Bangkok that year - about the monster that killed you in your sleep after seducing you.  But then again, this was the first such case to involve an American so Sam thought he better pay attention.  At the least he could get a lot of free drinks out of this story.

     The police finished interviewing Khan Lek and Sam was able to ask her a few questions.  She seemed to him to be a typical Khatoey - although a bit bigger than the average one.  She/he worked out of the Casanova bar in Soi Nana, a notorious Khatoey hang out down Suavity from Soi Cowboy.   She/he leered at Sam and promised him a great big blowjob if Sam put in a few good words to get her released.  Sam, despite his best intentions, was tempted as he had not yet been with a Khatoey and his drinking buddies all claimed that the sex with a Khatoey was absolutely the best sex a man could ever have, provided he got over his hang ups about being with a person of uncertain gender.  Sam finally decided what the hell and suggested to the cops that they let Kuhn Lek go for lack of evidence.  He did suggest that they do a blood test on her just for sure.   The cop in charge said in Thai

“okay what the heck.  Let her go” but warned Khun Sam to be careful with her as she had a reputation for being a Bai yah user who could turn violent at a moment’s notice.  And the cops did not want anything bad to happen to their best American friend.

     The next night Sam decided he needed a few drinks and went out with some buddies to Soi Nana.  They ended up in the Hollywood club just down the alley from the Casanova club.  Sam walked by the Casanova and saw Kuhn Lek standing there.  She/he invited Sam over for a night cap.  Sam said "What the hey. I deserve it."  They went into the back room.  Kuhn Lek took off her clothes revealing a stunningly beautiful body beneath her clothes.  They started kissing and fooling around and Sam looked down and noticed that Kuhn Lek was turning reddish in color, and her skin was becoming leathery.  Sam jumped up alarmed and backed away from her - just as she transformed into a hideous creature with leathery wings and tentacles like that of a squid or octopus.  She hissed "Sam, I am a Cthulu from the planet Sirius and I have existed for years.  I live to eat human animals like you.  You can't escape your fate." 

Kuhn Lek plunged at Sam.  Sam ran out the door and into his colleagues who were looking for him.  Sam turned and saw Kuhn Lek flying off through the window and disappearing into the gloomy night air of Bangkok.

     Sam's colleagues did not believe him; told him he must have drunk some bad Mekong whisky. There were rumors of drug gangs spiking drinks with LSD and then robbing the disorientated victims.  They took Sam to Sukavit hospital on Soi 23.  Sam checked out okay and went home.

     The next morning his colleges told him that the blood work had come back.  To Sam’s surprise and to the surprise of everyone in the Embassy and the police, Kuhn Lek it appears was not a human being as her blood was green and contained cooper and non-human chemicals. 

 This was the first time in world history that there was proof that an alien walked among us.  Sam told them what Kuhn Lek had claimed just before she tried to kill him.  Sam wrote up his report, was interviewed by CNN and the international media and became briefly famous as the alien hunter.  Sam though it all too much, but for the remainder of his tour, got frequent drinks from all the newbies in town who were always ready to hear the latest sordid tales of the seamy underside of Bangkok.  Sam always concluded, “Hell it was another sordid night in the city of Angels.