Live, Laugh, Lose

My name is irrelevant. I'm a woman of colour living in Canada. I live on Vancouver Island and to put that into perspective for you, most of the people here are all one colour. Which is, fine, but a lot of people complain about it and people seem to be under the notion that life is easier for "minorities". A lot of people tell me that even though everyone is the same colour as them, they're "a minority now". I'm not sure if they expect me to apologize but definitely sympathize.

This is why it's hard for me to do either. I'm sharing the story of my first (and hopefully only) major vehicle accident. I hope to share the consequences of police misconduct and certain 'attitudes' that do go on in this life. The result of a quickly written ticket was a huge negative financial impact. Besides a slap in the face to basic human rights, it impeded the time it took to regain my place as a functioning and contributing member of society and my healing process. Which is no small feat following an unexpected traumatic life event. It's also a stark reminder of how easily dismissed minorities can be in (certain parts of) the world.

I know what happened the night I fell asleep driving. I was there. Sober and alone. I fell asleep coming down an incline to a flat stretch of dark, quiet highway. I woke up as my vehicle was heading for a culvert, already off the pavement.

I saw nothing but thorn bushes in front of the windshield and thought I was dreaming. I was northbound on the highway when my car crashed approximately 70 ft in the culvert, approximately 30 ft down. As it crashed it deployed 5 airbags, rendering me unconscious.

I was unconscious for an undetermined amount of time and when I woke up I had no idea where I was and thought I was upside down. I could hear liquid running and immediately worried about fire. I couldn't smell gas, a slight relief. But I became panicked because I had no idea if the car was in the water, filling up or sinking. I started to panic at the risk of drowning! I undid my seat belt but couldn't get the driver's door open, so I tried the passenger door. It moved 4 inches and snapped shut. Moving around inside the car also kicked up a lot of airbag dust (which is cornstarch or talcum powder) and I began coughing. The sudden lack of oxygen made me think I was going to die trapped in that car. I went into SHEER PANIC. I just wanted someone to come and save me. To help me get out of there. I was beyond SCARED for my life! I was terrified out of my mind. I had no idea if I was seriously injured, and only vaguely aware I was not bleeding or in any intense pain.

I told myself to calm down. I repeated it, over and over, until I stopped panicking and started listening to myself. "The only way you're going to get out of here is if you CALM DOWN". Somehow, despite the engine of my car being crushed against my windshield, I managed, in the darkness, to push the passenger door open. I was too scared to reach into the backseat in case there was broken glass everywhere. It was leverage and adrenaline that opened that car door. When I climbed out it closed so viciously behind me, it could have crushed a limb. What I didn't know, was the car was standing on the trunk and the whole frame (especially the front) was bent. I had no idea what I was climbing (or falling) into when I got out of the car. I just knew I had to get out. Fortunately, I landed in ankle-deep water at the bottom of the culvert. I could see road lights, very far from me and made my way through waist-deep thorn bushes toward them. When I got back to the highway I crossed the road to a rest area on the other side. A car stopped at the rest area and I told them there had been an accident and asked them to call the police for me.

I suffered a serious concussion injury. When the RCMP responded to the accident and saw me at the side of the road, they did not attend to me professionally. Constable F. of the Oceanside RCMP took my driver's license to the other attending constable who said: "Do you smell alcohol?"

"No" replied F. They looked up my license, made a slight attempt to locate the car and failed to do so. At this point constable F. began LAUGHING AT ME and said "We can't find the car. Are you sure you had a car accident?!!" I was ashamed and shocked as they both stood on the shoulder of the highway laughing at me.

F. continued mocking me as I stood there saying: "Do you want us to call you an ambulance?" in a joking manner.

At this point, the colour drained from my face, I fell to my knees and exclaimed: "you didn't call me an ambulance?!!" and went into a panic, experiencing difficulty breathing. That's when he decided it was serious and called the ambulance. The paramedics showed up, confirmed I was in shock and suffering from a serious concussion and began treating me. One of the paramedics looked for the car and could not locate it.

I was scratched up by the thorns, in shock and suffering from a concussion after being knocked unconscious for an unknown period of time. But, I was aware of what conversations were transpiring.

Right before the paramedics showed up, constable F. (who wrote my ticket) asked if I would take a breathalyzer. I asked him why he wanted me to do one since I'd heard him say he hadn't smelled alcohol. I stated that "sometimes those tests give false readings" and "I don't want to get in trouble for drinking when I haven't been" (because of a machine misread). Clearly, nonsense statements (made by someone with a concussion) and not those of someone thinking with their logical brain. Once the ambulance arrived, RCMP F. wrote me a "fail to comply" ticket, placed it in my purse (which I had miraculously managed to grab from the car) and handed the purse to the paramedic as the ambulance left for the hospital. He didn't give me a chance to take the breathalyzer test once the ambulance showed up or issue me the ticket directly. 

Finally, after making jokes one said, "do you want us to call you an ambulance?" That was my "THAT THING THAT HAPPENS TO BLACK PEOPLE IS HAPPENING TO ME" moment. I fell to my knees and went fully into shock, THAT'S when they decided to call the ambulance. When the paramedics showed up they confirmed I was in shock and had a serious concussion injury. The RCMP just gave me a ticket and when I started to become "agitated" they threatened to TAKE ME IN! The paramedics told me to stop talking to the cops and come with them to the hospital "because they'll throw you in a cell and you need medical attention".

I was admitted, hooked up to machines and left for over an hour, alone, in a hospital room without ANY further examination. Then suddenly, an aggressive group of staff came in and demanded I submit to a urine sample. Despite the fact I was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, exhibiting any signs of being so or taking any medications and have a 0.00% chance of pregnancy as I have an IUD. Nor was it at the request of the RCMP.

They hadn't run any further tests or given me a general exam upon admittance and now they refused to treat me unless I submitted to a urine sample? I come from a religious and family background that is skeptical of 'modern medicine' to say the least. A family that also perceives aggression in situations that do not warrant it as attempts to punish us for the colour of our skin. I chose to discharge myself, reasoning that if they weren't that concerned about my injuries, I would have the same chances on my own.

I went to the emergency room in the Valley where I live 2 days after my accident. I was experiencing extreme electronic sickness (that's a thing), nausea, dizziness, low blood pressure, vertigo, etc. I followed the emergency Doctor's advice closely and I've been making a positive recovery. I did experience a seizure about 2 months after the accident. It was scary. Luckily, it motivated my family Doctor to order a CT scan and blood work.

There are a lot of physical & neurological effects from the accident. There are still days I get a little lightheaded, but it's subsided in severity and frequency as time goes on. I've always been healthy and maintain an active lifestyle with very few toxins.

I will never understand or forget those RCMP officers laughing and making fun of me at the side of the highway. I'm well aware of my rights and responsibilities as a driver. But I'm wasn't aware of them as the victim of a very serious crash and very dismissive police behaviour. I can only be grateful it wasn't harassment without a witness altogether (paramedics arrived on the scene shortly after the RCMP relented to calling them), or violence against me by the police as is all too common in the United States.

I'm lucky to be alive and even luckier to be strong and healthy enough to free myself from the twisted wreckage. I woke up trapped inside a vehicle that was NOT visible from the highway and there were no witnesses to the crash. I would still have been there if I had waited for help. According to the tow truck driver, if I'd have needed help, I'd be dead.